The Green Labyrinth

Yesterday and Tomorrow

"I sat inside with a heavy heart
Just wish you would think of me
Are you listening?
Ran round in circles 'til after dark
Didn't get very far
Wasn't meant to be
I never thought it would be this hard
It feels like you walked through me"

~~~~

"What the fuck?" I scream as the door behind me slams open. 

"Hey bud.." Shea chuckles as she stumbles in the door. 

"Better put a garbage can next to your bed. I'm not cleaning up your puke...again." I mumbled, putting my headphones back on. 

Shea falls into her bed, passing out within seconds. She means well, drinks too much. 

"Hey sorry about that, she ran upstairs before I could catch her." an out of breath Derek stands in the doorway. 

"She's fast when she's drunk" he huffs. 

"No worries" 

I continue working on the song I was trying to put together. The band and I have been working on a new album for a while now, we need a few more songs to add before it's done. Derek puts a garbage can next to the bed and climbs in next to Shea, falling asleep quicker than she did. 

"It feels like you walked, through me. I hope this come back to haunt you.." 

"Can you shut up, I'm trying to sleep. It's 3 am, go to bed." Shea yells from her half-drunken, sleep state. 

I throw my headphones down on my desk, shut my computer and groan. I get up, grab my coat and my keys and head to the door. I need a breather.

The air is chilly but freeing. I nod at James, the doorman and head out the door. 

"ahh" the air is crisp in the fall here. I love it. Walking down the street, it's busy but calm. The busy city makes me feel at home, the ground still a little wet from the rain. 

"I sat aside with a heavy heart, just wish you would think of me." I sing to myself. I put my headphones in and let the music take me somewhere else. I need to be somewhere else. 

I get to Range Park, find my usual bench and sit in front of the fountain. The water slowly coming out from the top, the tress still wet, the lights shine over the wet pavement. I breathe in, and out slowly. I don't want to remember, but the memories always come flooding back. Like a cough I can't shake, a disease without a cure. They haunt my mind every moment of every day, I just want a moment without them. Peace. But I feel it coming, slowly building in the back of my mind. My palms are sweaty, my breathing fast. I can't do this, not now, please stop.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Dad?" I shake. Lights visible now, my eyes trying to adjust. 

"DAD?" I yell. Sitting straight up. I'm on the ground, my clothes wet. I look around in the dark. 

"DAD? WHERE ARE YOU?" I yell. 

I see him, laying on the ground. He's not moving. Why isn't he moving. I run to him. 

"DAD!" I shake him, nothing. 

There's blood. There's a lot of blood. It's all over my hands. His eyes glossy, his skin, cold. 

"Dad..." my voice is shaky, I feel it. My heart hurts, aching. 

I sit on the ground, my head in my hands. Blood. There's so much blood. 

"are you okay? hun, are you okay?" I feel a hand on my shoulder. 

"Are you okay? What happened?" 

My voice, I try to speak but nothing comes out. So much blood. 

I see lights, flashing lights. They're blurry. I can't breathe. My chest is heavy, my arms feel like cement. My body is melting away. I can't move. 

"I'm here to help you." a man's voice calms me. I feel hands under me and I'm lifted up. 

"dad." I whisper, but no words come out.

and then there's darkness.