Hey Angel - Harry Styles Series

What's Going to Happen Next - Part 59

You were finally home. You were finally able to sleep in your own bed and you were able to finally be with your babies. However, it wasn't the same. You were pretty much stuck in bed or stuck on the couch. You weren't able to walk yet and even if you could, it would be with crutches. Harry pretty much carried you around the house, when you wanted a change of scenery or when you needed to use the restroom.

It also didn't help that you were pregnant. You were feeling nauseous practically all day and you were just hoping that you never actually got sick because your ribs were still bruised pretty bad. You weren't able to play with the kids either, and it was driving you insane. You missed the tea parties with Ella and running around after Jackson in the backyard.

Another thing that was going through your mind was everything else that was and had been going on. You and Harry were practically on a break just a few weeks ago. Simon had someone following you, which lead to the accident. Harry was dealing with the legal issues against Simon for the accident and to get Simon's parental rights of Ella taken away.

You could tell that he was stressed to the max. Between taking care of the kids, taking care of you, and all the legal things going on, he was running himself ragged. He did have the help of your parents and his, but there just some things that Harry preferred to do himself.

You two also hadn't talked about the fact that you were pregnant recently either and quite honestly it was probably because everything else sort of took priority over it. You felt horrible thinking that and that you weren't that excited about the baby, but this was not how you wanted the pregnancy of your first child with Harry to be.

You were sitting up in the bed and you felt yourself tearing up at all the horrible thoughts going through your mind. What if you never had a bond with this baby? What if you never got to experience all the joys that pregnancy could bring? You didn't realize just how much you were crying, until you felt yourself shaking and aggravating your bruised ribs.

Harry walked in carrying your lunch on a tray, when he heard and saw you bawling your eyes out. He quickly, but carefully puts the tray on the ground before rushing over to you.

"Y/N, baby what's wrong? Are you okay?" He asks worriedly.

You shake your head. "N-no." You sniffle.

"Oh my god. Uh.. What's going on? Do I need to call an ambulance?" He asks.

"N-No.." You say. "I'm not hurting or sick.."

"Then what is it?" He asks.

"I'm a horrible mother." You cry.

"What? No, you're not." He says. "You're an amazing mother."

"No, I'm not. I'm pregnant and I don't even really care... for a lack of a better word. I do care, but I just don't feel pregnant. We haven't talked about it.. The kids don't even know. I'm stuck in bed with a cast on my leg.. I can't do anything. I'm worrying if I'm ever going to even have a bond with this baby and the fact that this is our first child together and this is not how I wanted this to go. I wanted us to be happy about it and planning for it and going to doctors appointments... I didn't want it to be like this..." You sniff.

Harry looks at you sadly. "I know what you mean. When I found out you were pregnant, I was shocked. I wanted to be thrilled and ecstatic, but I didn't even know if you were going to wake up anytime soon. It was like all of these things were happening and I couldn't process it. Plus, we weren't exactly in the best place at the time..." he sighs.

"And us being in a bad place started because of us wanting to have another baby." You whisper.

"I know." He says. "And I know that we already have so much going on and that you're still healing and we have a lot to worry about, but I promise you that we're going to treat this pregnancy just like any other one. I'm going to cherish your growing bump and talk to the little one growing inside. I'm going to rub your feet and massage your shoulders. I'll get you late night cravings. I'll get the nursery together. Whatever you want, I'll do." He whispers.