A Mafia's Love| J.JK✔️

8: Knife Throwing

Today felt like one of those kind of days where you feel frustrated at everything and just want the world to end. To make things worst I had school. The teachers bugged the shit out of me. Why should I attend detention like every other bad student huh? As if. I thought about stabbing one teacher in the back with my pocket knife. My stare was so intimidating that those who knew what was best for them stayed away from me.

I take a massive breath of air reaching out for the knife in the table beside me in our training room. Its basically the basement but we turned it into a training ground. Fully grey painted walls, machines, weapons and obstacles nested planted around the massive space. I stay here when I'm upset and really need to hit something. I've been in here for hours already. As my energy slowly drains out of me, I furiously throw the knife directly at a dummy on the other side of the room. With a satisfying thud, it hits the heart. Kill. Immediately my hand grabs another from the table of knives beside me. Spinning around 180 degrees, I release the knife at another dummy with a swift motion. Again it hits it hard in the chest. Another kill.

Flashback
"So....how did your mission go?

I gulp and look down. I don't know what kind of reaction I'm going to get. "I missed" I mumble. "You did what!" My dads fuming voice fills my ears making me flinch at his tone. "You had one job to do. ONE JOB. And you couldn't even do that!!" I feel ashamed that I failed. I've been training for this mafia business for so many years but even one little mistake counts as something huge. Especially to my dad who always thinks a son would have been better than me. That's why he's always more harsh on me. "I nearly killed him. I was so close. But...I missed." I kept my head down, embarrassed. There's silence in the room so I dare to look up at my dads face. He's furious and trying to think what to yell at me. He takes a deep breath in frustration. "Why are you so pathetic at killing someone. That is basically the most important thing in the mafia business! How can I hand this down to you if you can't do one simply task? Why don't you have any worthy skill! Why are you so bad at using weapons! Why can't you do something good for once!!!!"

End of flashback

I slam another knife into a dummy at full force that it nearly topples over. I furiously grab another and do the same thing to another dummy, silently letting out my anger with every knife I throw. With each time my dad yelled at me that day, I grab another knife and belt it at a dummy proving I'm not pathetic. Proving that I'm not bad with weapons with every knife I throw which hits the dummy where it kills. My eyes get blurry with tears and my arm get sore but still I grab another knife, reluctant to stop.

After doing this for another entire hour, my arms feel like they will fall off. Dropping the knife, I heave a massive deep breath. Running my hand through my messy untied hair, I finally pause. Why do I have to be a mafia if I don't have skill? Am I even that bad? Am I really pathetic? Do I not have any worthy skill? If not, why am I here? I didn't even choose to...

I look at the table and see one more knife. A large sharp one. It looks so tempting to throw at a real person. I pick it up. Before I chose a dummy to throw it at, I hear the door open behind me. "Minhee."

Without hesitation, I spin around rapidly and pelt the knife as hard as I can towards the figure.

Of course it would have killed someone who didn't know I was in here and what I would do. But Seoho being well aware of my move ducked without and avoided it without a problem. "Ya! What is it with you and throwing whatever is in your hand at someone!!" Seoho yells at he hates it when I do that. Bad past experiences, he's learnt the hard way to avoid me.

I roll my eyes and look away from him. Leaning my hands on the table which is now empty and hang my head low. "Do you throw pens and books at people at school who annoy you?" Seoho says crossed. "Yeah sometimes" I mumble back frustrated.

"Well you should stop that habit because you may hurt someone for no reason. No wonder everyone is probably scared of you at school" Seoho crosses his arms, standing in front of the closed door.

"Well they should be scared of me" I snap back at him. "I'm not one of those people who is nice to new kids and hope to make lots of friends," I say in a sickly sweet way but my anger is clearly heard in my voice.

"You used to be" Seoho whispers ever so quietly but I still hear him. "DON'T YOU DARE MENTION WHAT I USED TO BE" I shout back and glare at Seoho with fuming eyes. "That Minhee is gone and always will be. She was weak and stupid for thinking everything would fix itself if she did what she was told" My voice starts to become weaker as I remember the past. I take a deep breath before continuing. "That little girl is gone now. I destroyed her-no wait..." I mumble, feeling my eyes water. "My dad destroyed her.....but I wish I had done it myself earlier...Then I wouldn't have had to go through all that pain." I feel my voice shake a little.

Seoho simply stands behind me not moving and looks sadly at the floor. "This is who I am now" I say quieter. "And this is who I should have always been. No one will ever manipulate me again."

"He didn't manipulate you Minhee" Seoho says quietly, looking up at me with his arms crossed and sorrow in his eyes. "Yes he did" I snap back and turn my head to him. "I thought he was going to change" Tears fill my eyes and my voice cracks. "I did everything I was told. I thought things would be better. Then that happened."

I close my eyes and a tear escapes it. "I was only 8 then. When dad changed my life forever. I was just an innocent 8 year old girl when it happened. I watched it with my own eyes. I will never forget it." Before I break down even more, Seoho comes and engulfs me in his arms. I don't push him away like I usually do. Despite how much I hate affection and emotion sometimes I do need him to comfort me like now. He's always cared for me more than I want him to. I hate it most of the times but right now I feel really broken. "I could have saved her, Seoho" I choke on my own tears, leaning on his shoulder. "But I didn't because I was a stupid good girl who listened to what her father told her. If I didn't I could have saved her...Her screams mercy play in my nightmares every single day."

Vivid memories of that day pour into my mind speaking about it. The day that changed my life.

Seoho pulls away from me before I get the chance to push him once I've calmed down. "So are you just never going to let anyone get close to your heart ever again?" Seoho asks and tilts his head.

"No" I answer straightforward.

"Why?"

Because it hurts more when you loose them"