The Girl From Spain (girlxgirl)

Day 15/182: Sally

Sally was nervous.

It was important to note, Sally usually wasn't nervous and she didn't appreciate this feeling at all.

She was confident, blunt and honest, at least she was pretending to be. There was one thing she would prevent at all costs. She would not go back to being that weak, insecure, little girl.

There was no reason to be nervous. Ahead of her was an evening in a pub with Jake and Mila. Just some fun, alcohol and music with her closest friend and... whatever undefinable thing Mila was.

Objectively, she was a friend. But in some ways, she was more.

In just weeks, Sally had shared more with her than with anyone else in her life.

While there were few things Jake didn't know of her, she had rarely voluntarily told him something. He had simply been there for her every major life event and he, after 10 years into being best friends, was able to understand her without words. He was, whether accidentally or knowingly, allowing her to act like she wasn't vulnerable.

Regarding Mila, it was just so much easier to be open over text. With having exchanged so many messages but only having seen each other so few times, Sally didn't know how to behave in front of her.

Would she just pretend Mila didn't know all these things about her? Would she just pretend that she wasn't that vulnerable?

The plan to open up to someone unconnected to her life had only worked for as long as she hadn't cared about Mila.

And by now, to Sally's greatest annoyance, she cared. So, she was nervous.

Sally did what she always when her confidence was crumbling. She dressed in a way that she knew would make every head turn. That she did with the help of a ridiculously short and lowcut dress, her favourite push-up bra, a transparent pantyhose and shoes with a little heel. She did her makeup, used perfume, pulled her hair into a ponytail and grinned at her reflection.

She then grabbed her phone, hid a few banknotes in the case, decided to leave it to Jake to take the keys and walked into the living room.

For the second time that week, the sofa was standing at a different spot. Slowly but surely, Sally began to regret having given Jake her permission to do what he wanted with the living room. She didn't care in the slightest about where what stood, as long as it wouldn't change every few hours.

Jake raised his eyebrows when he saw her. "Ready to go?" she asked, keeping him from saying something. He knew her too well to not know why and for whom she had dressed up like that. Sometimes, she hated him just a little for that.

To her relief and his physical wellbeing, he didn't make a comment. "Let's go," he agreed.

They grabbed their jackets and, as both intended to drink that evening, walked to the pub Jake had discovered the week before.

After about 15 minutes, they arrived. They had to wait for Mila a couple of minutes. "Sorry," she said as she arrived. "I pulled a you and got lost."

Jake snickered.

Sally glared at both of them.

"Aren't you freezing?" Mila asked with raised eyebrows.

A little. "No," Sally replied simply. Though she didn't know why, she had hoped for a small compliment. After all, she had spent the last hour in front of the mirror, mainly because of her. Yes, she was that needy and that insecure. She was reaching for every straw that could help get the confidence she needed to through this evening with dignity.