summary: -well let's say steve and bucky weren't friends anymore.
||warnings: angst, showing feelings, depression(?), anxiety, cuts, scratching, fluff,
————-
"i hate you!"
this sentence slipped out of steve's mouth in a usual fight with his boyfriend. steve knew tony was sensitive and insecure. but it had slipped out- really.
steve threw his hand over his mouth when he saw the hurt in tony's eyes.
"tony i'm-"
"no! you should date someone you love and not someone you hate. so pack your shit and leave"
"tony i didn't mean to"
"i said LEAVE"
———
well this is how the two lovebirds broke up. steve thought that everything would be fine. that he'd be okay.
he heard that bucky, his childhood best friend, the only person who ever understood him would move into the tower and he felt so happy.
two days later they were laying on steve's bed, looking up at the ceiling. "wow he really broke up"
steve nodded as he felt his throat becoming dry. he wanted tony. he needed tony so bad. he missed him so much. he felt his heart stitch.
a small tear slipped his eye but after that one tear he couldn't stop the crying.
"whoa- oh no- don't cry"bucky said as he got up to wipe steve's tears away.
god, steve was so lucky that he had bucky.
——-
tony moved around nervously. he missed steve. so much. what did he do?
but steve didn't seem to miss him. and that wasn't giving him peace. steve should be crawling back pleading for forgiveness.
tony huffed. then he remembered what his girl-best friend used to say after break ups.
they we're about seventeen years old and tony had asked her if she was okay after her break up. and she just smirked and said: "fuck his best friend and he'll go mad"
it had actually worked. the guy took her back and everyone was happy.
tony smiled into his sleep. this probably was a dick-move but still.
———
update: let's say steve and bucky weren't friends anymore.
steve wanted to punch something, hurt himself or just cry ugly and loud.
how could that happen.
bucky was sitting there on HIS couch, warping his arm around HIS tony.
when he sniffed, natasha realized what was going on and sighed next to him.
she grabbed his head and put it onto her shoulder, leaning on top of his head.
"you'll do better without those assholes"she whispered and he sighed deeply. he wished that this was true.
———
steve caught them. he had caught them doing it. in the living room.
in the moment the blonde ran out of the living room, wiping his face tony knew he went too far.
———-
steve sat on the bathroom floor. arms warped around his legs that we're tightly pressed to his chest.
"don't cry don't cry don't cry"he whispered to himself.
"come on rogers. you're not a fourteen year old girl. s-stahp"he continued talking to himself, even though the last word was just a whimper.
he tried so badly to get his thoughts together.
his chest clenched, his head ached, the goosebumps on his skin seemed ugly and his eyes burned from holding back the tears. if he had to keep fighting against himself like this, he was sure he'd pass out.
suddenly his teary eyes spotted a shaver. with shaky hands he grabbed it. he knew this would help. it would hurt but it's okay he had done that before.
he slowly cut a line from the bottom of his elbow to his wrist.
"this is so stupid"he mumbled.
he made another one.
"j-just one more"
after he was done he had realized that this pain replaced his mental pain. he dropped the shaver and sighed in relief.
it's okay. it was gonna go away in a few hours. suddenly he heard a rough knock. he pulled his legs to his chest again.
"darling let me in"he heard tony's voice.(tony was the 666th word i-)
steve shivered. darling.
"n-no"
"please.. hey i'm sorry.."he heard tony's forehead being placed on the door.
"steve please come out"
"stevie?"he suddenly heard bucky's voice.
steve suddenly felt angry.
"LEAVE! YOU JUST- GO AWAY!"he was desperately looking for the shaver.
tony's eyes suddenly widened.
he had left his shaver inside. he knew steve. he knew that steve did that sometimes.
tony knocked onto the door loudly and roughly. "steve please i need you to open the door!"
"what-"confusion was written into bucky's face.
"i left my shaver inside"tony gasped.
"tony it's okay it will go away. the ser-"steve suddenly called out of the door.
"no! it's not okay! i'm so so sorry. please don't hurt yourself, please steve i'm begging you!"tony laid his hand flat on the door and started talking to his lover.
"go get ice"he commanded to bucky who rushed away.
"steve please, i'm so so sorry o made you feel like this, you deserve better, i was just so desperate to make you jealous, i swear to god it was nothing else. i love you so so much now please open the door for me honey- and please please don't hurt yourself again okay?"
steve looked at the shaver.
he gulped and put it away before he shakily got up and opened the door to fall into Tony's arms.
"I'm so sorry i love you"tony whispered.
