Sometimes You Don't Want to Be Okay - Kellic

Wonderless

Vic's POV

"Hey, you okay?"

Sometimes you don't want to be okay.

Sometimes you are; you're okay. You're getting better. But you don't want to. It's routine to not be. And you don't like change.

Sometimes I don't want to be okay.

"Hey, Friday night, party at my place, wanna come?" Jaime asked me, pulling me from my thoughts.

"Fuck, what? Uh, sorry man, I'm busy," I lied.

"Oh like hell you are. I'll see you Friday."

I scoffed and headed to my second to last class. Two more hours. I could do that. I could do it.

~_~_~_~

"I'm done with you for good. We were always like a time bomb ticking and you're so Hollywood!"

At this point, if I went deaf from how loud I played my music on nights like these, I wouldn't be too surprised.

I lay there, on my shitty apartment bed that was still better than a dorm bed, I just thought. It wasn't abnormal; it was common, in fact. And maybe I liked to think. Maybe I like to lay there, staring at my ceiling in the dark, thinking.

It could lead anywhere. The next plot for gay fan fiction, shit a teenager would say "I'm 14 and this is deep" to, memories, etc.

Sometimes it was okay. Sometimes it wasn't. Sometimes it got out of hand. But I always ended up asleep and forgetting the whole ordeal the next day. Even if I felt the world was ending then. I'd sleep and it was okay.

Tonight, there was Jaime's party to think about. I didn't want to blow him off; he was good friend. And if Mike found out I was staying home alone another Friday night he'd make me read hentai; he threatened it to me himself.

So I was going. Did I dress up? This wasn't some high school romance movie first date, no. I didn't dress up for a college party with my best friend and some other guys. Besides, who gave a damn?

I'd wear whatever. Did I bring something? What's the 'proper college party etiquette'? Or is that just something for adults with teenage kids throwing a house warming party?

I'm over thinking it. A party. I show up in some jeans and a flannel, basic clothes, and I just do whatever. Get drunk, dance, hook up, be a college student. Be normal.

"Be normal, Vic."

I shook my head. Not tonight. It wasn't memory night. And we never remember those memories.

It was Thursday night. I'd sleep. I'd show up for classes tomorrow. I'd go to Jaime's party after school. Then it was the weekend, and depending on my homework load, I'd sleep the whole weekend.

Okay.

Y'all I did it. I wrote my first fic.

anywhore

Stay salty,

~ISweepy