Sometimes You Don't Want to Be Okay - Kellic

Secrets

Vic's POV

I didn't wanna get up. You have no idea how comfy Kellin was. He was still holding me, while I was curled in a ball. He was warm, and once he put his arms around me last night I was able to sleep rather than force back crying.

I felt a small, lasting kiss on my forehead. Kellin began to quietly hum, moving hair from my face.

"What song was that?" I asked, opening my eyes.

Kellin's face flushed. "How long have you been awake?"

I smiled, remembering last night. "Long enough to hear you hum." I buried my face in his chest. "I could lay here, like this, all day," I mumbled, satisfied.

Kellin chuckled. "You're so cute- I-I mean, just, when you're sleepy and all-"

I smiled, looking up at him. "You're cute too when you're nervous." I nuzzled back into his chest, beginning to wonder what we were at this point. Was this just platonic cuddling? I knew people that did it. So this was just that. Kellin kissed my forehead because.. he said those things last night because..

Because we are just friends. We're just friends.

I'd been in relationships, but only one ended well.

Lila was the first, but of course she never was a relationship. Just a high school crush. And then there was Jaime and Harley.

Jaime and I ended quickly. We went on a first date after meeting online (I know, stupid thing to do) and hit it off. We went again, but the moment we kissed we both realized the only thing between us was a friendship. And that's how it lasted. A friendship.

Harley..

That story never went well. Thinking of her made me shudder. After Jaime, I met her. And then after it all went down, I stopped doing relationships. Two years later and I'm still heartbroken. I don't like to think about her, so I push it away. Last night started because of those memories, but I refused to go to the things I went to before.

All because of the boy I was cuddling with.

He was a fuckboy, and I was a fucked up boy. A friendship between us two was already so unlikely, a relationship is extinct.

"What are you thinking about?" Kellin asked me.

"Stuff," I mumbled.

"You okay?" His voice was soft while he played with my hair.

"Mhm," I whispered. "How are you?"

He inhaled sharply, taking a moment. "Fine."

I looked up at him. "That's the biggest lie I have and will hear."

"Its nothing, Vic. I promise. Now, I'll make us some breakfast," He changed the subject.

I didn't want to let it pass, but he was adamant about it, so I let it be. "No! You're comfy!" I whined.

He stood anyway. "You'll live, I'm hungry."

There was a quick cold that ran to me with the emptiness that Kellin left, so I curled up with the blankets over my chin. "You're mean," I pouted. "Now I'm cold."

Kellin chuckled, but continued to the kitchen and began making eggs and toast.

"Foods ready," he called soon enough. I had fallen asleep, making me groggy once more when he told me.

"Fine." I stumbled out of bed and plopped down at the table, smashing the yoke of my sunny side up egg with my fork.

"Why'd you do that?" Kellin asked, surprised.

"Because, I'm not eating the white shit without the yoke."

"I ain't eating that brown shit," Kellin mumbled.

"What?"

"Quote." He shrugged and continued eating.

"So where we you last night?" I asked before murderously taking a bite of my eggs agressively.

Kellin shrugged. "Party." He looked at me and started laughing. "Y-You got some yoke on your chin."

I tried to lick it up, but Kellin was still laughing, so I pouted.

"Here." He grabbed a napkin and leaned over the table to wipe it off.

"Your shirt!" I pointed at the end of his shirt that got yoke on it.

He cursed and, after wiping my chin, wiped it off his shirt to the best of his ability. "Guess we both are messy egg eaters, then."

I giggled. "I guess so."

"Another smile!" Kellin exclaimed. "How many has it been?"

"Five? Six? I don't know."

"Well, it's a smile. Which is all I needed to start my day off well," Kellin said, leaning back satisfied.

"So the party you attended last night, what were you doing?" I asked.

He seemed to tense. "You know, getting drunk, dancing; shit people do at parties."

"And?"

"And?"

"And what else?" I sighed. "You wouldn't be so tense unless something else happened."

"Again, can we please drop this? I'm not in the mood."

I frowned. "I'm sorry."

"Hey, don't apologize," Kellin ordered sternly. "Its not your fault, it's sweet you care. Some people just have secrets they need to keep."

I nodded, completely understanding. "Okay, I'm sorry- I-I mean, you know what I mean. Just, whatever. I'm gonna work on an essay." I stood up and set my plate in the sink, opening my laptop and beginning to write a shitty essay on Abraham Woodhull.

We sittin at lunch, and I got a banana right? Cus potassium. So finish my banana and the chick don't want hers so I take it

Now it's got a lot of brown spots, so I eat the top and then when I get to the bottom where brown spots are, I bite into the side without them.

My friend sits down after throwing his tray away and sees me nibling the side of a banana. He starts laughing and I say "what? I ain't eatin that brown shit"

It's just in an inside joke now. Along with booty cheeks, wildin, and some other shit

God I miss lunch with my friend group