Sometimes You Don't Want to Be Okay - Kellic

Dinner With You

Despite the events of the night, and Kellin holding me close while we cuddled on the bed, I couldn't sleep. It didn't matter where I was, what happened, I wanted it. The urge didn't leave.

I turned around to face the sleeping boy and snuggled in his chest, taking in his scent. I was tired, and his embrace was so comforting, but I couldn't sleep. My mind was a train, running miles per hour with no end in sight.

"Vic?" Kellin's soft, sweet voice asked. He was looking down at me, his eyes squinted and sleepy.

"I'm sorry, did I wake you?" I frowned. He ran his fingers through my messy hair, staring down at me in almost awe.

"No, not at all. How long have you been up?"

I shrugged. "All night."

He pulled me closer, kissing my forehead. "Sunsets on Long Island
Roll the windows down in the van," he began to sing. "Lost my map on the Jersey Turnpike, but it's okay, we ain't looking back. All we ever want is gold. One way on this winding road.

"We made our mistakes, it's not too late; we had to learn the hard way. Bridges will burn, now it's our turn. We had to learn the hard way. 'Cause all we ever want is good. we made our mistakes, it's not too late. We had to learn the hard way." I fell asleep to the sound of his voice, it was all I needed.

~_~_~_~

"Vic! How was school?" Kellin greeted me outside of my last class, handing me a flower.

I chuckled. "What's this?" I questioned, smelling the blue flower.

"A flower, for you." He took my hand and led me to the parking lot.

"And why have you given me this?" I leaned on him.

Recently, he'd been so close. After that day he came to my apartment and we talked, he'd been acting as my boyfriend. He hadn't called me that, or asked me on any dates, in fact we hadn't officialized anything between us, but he was sure as hell more romantic about it all.

"Kellin, can we talk?"

He spun around, facing me. "What is it, babe?"

I was momentarily shocked by the name. Babe? It felt too fast. One minute he was scared to get his heart broken, the next he's calling me babe and giving me flowers. "U-Um- How bout we go somewhere else.. Private, I guess?"

He nodded, pulling me along to his car and opening the door for me. I got in, shutting the door and waiting for him.

"What is it?" He asked me eventually, now situated in the car and about to start it.

"What are we? I mean- One minute you're too scared, then you kiss me and you're calling me babe, but we haven't agreed to call each other anything yet? What are we?" His face fell, and he sighed quietly, though didn't turn to look at me.

"I'm still.. Part of me wants to go back to Oli, y'know? He- He was my first, and only, long term relationship. I'm scared to go back to anyone else, what if they're like him? Can I even be with anyone else? I mean, I just fuck everyone and leave them, Oli was the only one that lasted, put up with all my shit. I just can't hold a relationship," Kellin explained.

"Kellin, you live with me, I've had to deal with your shit since day one." I took his hand. "Of course you can be with someone, someone who isn't a fucking cheat."