Sometimes You Don't Want to Be Okay - Kellic

Remembering Sunday

"Harley? Harley, open up!" Vic shouted, pounding on the locked door.

He sighed, dread filling his chest as he slammed his side into the door. It broke, but at least allowed him entrance. He cursed, feeling the stinging in his side. But that soon vanished when he saw her.

Harley, the girl he loved, hanging by the window. Their window. The one they sat on for hours, talking. The one they stared out of and into the night sky. The one where they kissed after finally telling each other that maybe they wanted to be more than friends.

"H-Harley!" Vic rushed to the pale corpse, ripping the rope from the ceiling and clutching her limp body. He searched for a pulse, any signs of breathing, but there was none.

She was dead.

Loud, wailing sobs escaped him. She was dead. They made a promise. To make it till college. To follow their dreams together. But now she was dead.

"Harley!" He screamed. "N-No! What about college?! Come back!"

A thin piece of paper fell from the windowsill and onto Harley's corpse. Vic picked it up.

'Dear Vic,

I can't say if I'm sorry or not. On one hand, I will and already do deeply regret any and all pain I'm about to inflict on you. But on the other, I wouldn't do this unless I didn't care. It's one of those times, as you put it, that you get so low you don't care about the things that you live for anymore.

So you'll have to go to college without me. And follow your dreams. Make me proud, mkay? Find a cute boy or girl, maybe enby, and fall in love again. Don't stay hung up on an insignificant girl who couldn't live past high school. Live your life. Forget me, that's what you're supposed to do.

I love you,

~Harley'

"Vic, sh, it's okay," familiar whispers said.

"H-Harley," I sobbed quietly. My eyes opened to see Kellin hovering over me on the other side of the bed, staring concerned. "K-Kellin." I grabbed him and buried my face in his chest. "Make them go away, the memories."

"Shh." He lightly played with my hair. "You'll be alright, I won't let anything happen to you. It was a dream."

I shook my head. "It wasn't a dream, it was real. Harley's dead, be-because of m-me."

"Shut up," Kellin said sternly. "None of it was your fault."

"I could've saved her-"

"You did everything you could. It's okay. It wasn't your fault," Kellin repeated.

I shook my head. "You saved me, earlier, s-so I should've been able to save her."

Kellin's face softened into a sympathy, maybe pity, I'd seen all too often. "So you were going to.. y'know?"

I scoffed. "What else would I be doing?"

Kellin frowned, grabbing my hands. "Promise me you won't do it, you won't try. Please."

I bit my lip. "I-I don't think-"

"For Harley," he interrupted.

I was silent. "I'll try." I quickly nuzzled back into his arms and fell asleep once more.

—Pen-eesé—

I woke up to the sounds of cooking, something I'd grown used to after Kellin moved in. A light hangover was evident, but wasn't too new. The events of last night were still there, though. Vague with gaps, but there.