"Open the fucking door." Becca yelled.
"It's open you idiot." I told her.
"Oh." She said walking into my room. "What the fuck are you doing?"
I shrugged. What the fuck was I doing?
"I feel kind of stupid." I really did.
"Um why?"
I groaned. "Did you see her?"
"Yeah and?" Becca asked.
"Christ Becca, I feel like an idiot."
"Aha I know you've told me this, but why?" She was persistent if anything.
"I can't believe he slept with me. What was he doing, Community Service?"
"Get up." Becca snapped. "Get your ass back downstairs and have fun. Fuck him."
I stood up, I didn't want to but at this point I was willing to do anything to get Becca off my back.
"Fine." I told her heading for the door.
"Oh and Kylie." She said, grabbing my arm. "Forgive me if I'm wrong but you did say to Matt, Jim and I that you weren't looking for a relationship at least a thousand times. You made your bed, you gotta lie in it."
"I'm not looking for one." I snapped, reefing my arm out of her grip.
I stomped downstairs and looked around. I had just come out of a long term relationship, I certainly didn't need another one.
I spied Matt and Miss Glamorous.
Then why the fuck was I so jealous?
I headed over to Johnny and Brian, who were deep in conversation.
"Hey." I said.
Johnny looked at my empty hand. "You need a drink."
He went off to get one and Brian smiled at me.
"How are you doing?" He asked.
"I'm okay I think."
He put his arm around me and hugged me.
"Good."
I smiled at him, I would always have a soft spot for Brian. As messed up as we were back then I did love him.
"Here." Johnny said, shoving a beer at me.
I took it and had a drink. Fuck it, I might as well get pissed.
"Let's toast to being single." Johny said, holding his beer out.
I clinked mine against his. "I'll drink to that."
"What are we drinking too?" Fuck, Matt.
"Being free." Brian told him.
He laughed and smiled at me. "Sounds fun."
Yeah fun you asshole, I thought.
I needed to stop. I'd made it clear to him I'd only wanted sex, I only had myself to blame. I just wanted this feeling to kindly fuck off.
"Who is she?" Brian asked, pointing at Matt's date.
I walked off before he said anything, I didn't want to know.
"Geez." Becca hissed at me. "You look pissed off."
"Yeah well I'm not." I snapped.
She grinned at me. "Your fucking jealous."
"No I'm not."
"Oh yeah you are. I fucking knew it, holy shit." She looked so fucking proud of herself.
I glared at her, I hated this.
"Oh here he comes."
"Are you avoiding me?" Matt asked, walking over.
"No." I told him. "Of course not."
Yes, yes I was because I was having feelings that I really didn't want to have.
