hug me ♡ ten

hug me ♡ five

I tossed and turned in bed. Hindi ko na alam kung anong sumasanib sa akin pero biglaan na lang akong umiyak at nawalan ng kontrol sa sarili ko. Gusto kong sumigaw at umiyak, ilabas lahat ng frustration na nararamdaman ko pero hindi ko magawa. I got so used to bottling it all up kaya heto ako ngayon at hindi alam kung anong gagawin sa mga emosyon na nararamdaman ko.

I gripped my pillow, at saka ibinato 'yun across the room. I didn't know how to get rid of the frustration. If only there was someone out there to hug me, so I can just relax and cry, para matapos na ang lahat.

Hug me. Hug me. Hug me.

Bigla naman na nagpaulit ulit 'yung memory na 'yun sa isipan ko, when I shamelessly asked Ten for a hug. AAAAH! Ano ba kasing sumanib rin sa akin nun araw na 'yun at nagmukha akong kawawa sa harapan niya?!

Saiko Minami, you're supposed to be strong, aren't you? Bakit unti-unti kang nagbbreakdown?

I sat up, and then sighed. Nakakainis nalang sa tuwing makakaramdam ako ng ganito. I wanted to pick a pencil and just draw my frustration up, pero hindi ko rin magawa. I kept wondering about Ten.

"Unlike you, art is just a hobby for me. Hindi ko 'yun buhay. It doesn't drive me that crazy,"

"Unlike you, art is just a hobby for me. Hindi ko 'yun buhay. It doesn't drive me that crazy,"

"Unlike you, art is just a hobby for me. Hindi ko 'yun buhay. It doesn't drive me that crazy,"

"Unlike you, art is just a hobby for me. Hindi ko 'yun buhay. It doesn't drive me that crazy,"

Something that's helped me in my toughest times... it doesn't drive him that crazy.

Dahil sa sinabi niya, hindi ako makapaggawa ng kahit na ano. Every time I pick up a pencil or a brush, these emotions hit me like a shit ton of rocks would.

Naiinis ako! Anong gagawin ko?

♡♡♡

"Mukha kang zombie! HAHAHAHA," pang-aasar sa akin ni Venley, nang makasalubong niya ako papunta sa cafeteria.

I pouted, and then hit her arm slightly. Hinila naman niya ang kamay ko nang biglaan kaya nagulat nalang ako dun, and didn't have the chance na makawala. Dinala niya ako sa isang table, and I was surprised to see that it was her friends.

You see, dito sa NCity, I don't really have a permanent set of friends. Yes, I do hang out with Venley, but she has Minjae. Outside school, she has Hwayoung. Kaibigan ko rin naman si Hwayoung, and I do know Minjae, too. I'm friends with Lana, too, but she's friends with Xiren.

"Uy, hi, Sai! Kamusta?" Sabi ni Minjae, and I smiled at her.

"Hello, Minjae," bati ko, and then she gave me a smile. She's older than me, but she told me before to drop the eonni, so I did. Kahit si Venley.

"How's life at Class 2 - 3? Bakit kasi nagpapalit ka ng section nung first day? Ayaw mo ba sa 2 - 1?" Sabi ni Minjae, and I pouted.

"Ayoko lang naman mapunta sa section na pinagkakaguluhan," sagot ko, and Venley laughed.

"Good choice rin naman. Pero alam mo ba? Itong si Nari, ewan ko kung anong meron sa kanila ni-"

"Venley! Hindi ka nakakatuwa!" Sabi ni Nari, and I chuckled.

"Matagal ko na rin napapansin 'yung tinginan niya sayo, Nari. It's okay if you tell us you like him," sabi ko, and then she groaned before covering her face.

"I don't like him that way. We're just friends. Since dati naman, friends lang rin kami," Nari replied, and Minjae smirked.

"Patanong ko kay Venley. Ven, tanungin mo si-"

"No way I'm approaching them!" Sabi naman ni Venley, kaya nagtawanan kami.

"May takot rin pala kahit paano itong si Ven, 'di ako nainform," sabi ni Minjae.

Nalingon naman ako habang nagtatawanan sila, only to be met by the sight of the third year NShitty members. They were fooling around and Taeyong seemed like he was malfunctioning, even. Pero hindi 'yun ang kumuha ng atensyon ko.

The moment my eyes laid on Ten, he was also looking at me. Just as fast as it happened, he looked away immediately na akala mo ay pinagsisihan niya.

I sighed, looking down. Nang magsalita naman si Minjae, I looked up.

"That's tough. Having a crush on Ten," sabi ni Minjae, crossing her arms in front of her chest. "He's already got his eyes set on someone who doesn't give a fuck about him."

I widened my eyes. So, kilala niya?

"K-Kilala mo kung sinong gusto ni Ten?" I asked, and then she chuckled before leaning forwards.

"'Course I do," she said, "Pinsan ng best friend niyang si Ayako. Tirador rin ng Japanese 'yang si Ten."

I blinked rapidly, and then my eyes followed Ten. He was now laughing with Johnny and Mark, who joined the third years.

My eyes widened, nang may marealize ako.

"T-Tirador ng Ja-Japanese?!" I exclaimed, and then nagtawanan naman sila.

"Well, yeah. Kaklase ko nung middle school si Ten. Lahat ng nagiging crush niya, 'yung mga Japanese na kaklase or school mate namin." Minjae said, making me look down.

Japanese din naman ako...

"May chance ka, Sai. HAHAHAHA!" Pagbibiro ni Venley, kaya naman ay nagtakip ako ng mukha.

"A-Ang ingay. Marinig tayo!"

No matter how I had fun with them, hindi pa rin mawala sa isipan ko 'yung huling mga salita na sinabi niya sa akin. I clenched my fists.

What are you so passionate of, even, Ten?