hug me ♡ ten

hug me ♡ thirty two

Kinagabihan, I went to the beach. Kahit na ilang ulit akong mag-isip ng ideas for art, wala akong maisip. I'll take out my art materials, pero biglaan akong mabblanko. So, like before, nagpunta ako dito sa beach to find inspiration.

Bigla namang pumasok si Ten sa isipan ko. Para akong tanga yata kanina. Bakit ka nga naman ba magseselos, Saiko? Wala ka namang karapatan na magselos, eh. Wala namang kayo.

Napaisip naman ako sa sinabi ni Haechan kanina. Bakit uuwi na ganun si Ten? May nangyari kaya? Baka naman nag-away sila ni Natsuki? Hindi ko mapigilan ang hindi pag-isipan ang tungkol kay Ten.

I sat by the shore, sighing. Anyway, I really need to refresh my thoughts and find inspiration. Kailangan ko. Art is the only way I can express myself and my emotions, kaya mas hindi ako makapagfocus kapag wala akong nagagawa. Dati, kapag iniisip ko si Ten, I would get a ton of ideas, scenarios even. Pero ngayon kasing araw, kapag iniisip ko siya ay hindi ko lang maalis sa isipan ko 'yung nangyari kanina.

Why did he even hold my hand? Para ipakita kay Natsuki na wala na siyang pakialam? Bakit?

I looked up at the sky and saw the starry night. I sighed, its beauty enchanting me but the heavy feeling in my heart still won't go away. Okay na ba kami ni Ten? He was a star, and I was a mere mortal trying to reach out my hands to him. Can I really get him?

Pakiramdam ko, nagsesenti lang ako rito sa beach, eh. Imbes na makahanap ako ng inspiration, mas nag-iisip lang ako about sa kaganapan kanina. But it's better this way, right? Ang mapag-isa at mag-isip isip muna ako.

I was startled nang may marinig akong sigaw ng isang lalaki. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko at tumingin sa harapan, shocked to see Ten in the water while screaming his lungs out. The water reached up to his hips, but I believe he wanted to go deeper. Is he... is he crying?

Teka, bakit siya nagkakaganyan? Bakit siya nandito?

Nang muntik na siyang madulas ay hindi ko na napigilan ang sarili ko. Naaawa ako sa kalagayan niya ngayon at ayaw ko rin na malunod nalang siya dito. I'm sure he feels heavy, too.

I instantly got up to my feet and ran towards him kahit na hindi ako marunong lumangoy. Just seeing him like this made me want to cry.

When I was finally near him, I breathed in and out before calling his name. He turned his head to me, surprised to see me here as well.

"Ten," pagtawag ko.

"Sai, umalis ka na. Magkakasakit ka lang. Malamig dito, I don't want you to catch a cold," he replied, so I clenched my fists and shook my head.

"No, Ten. Hindi ako aalis dito hangga't hindi ka rin umaalis. Magkakasakit ka rin kung magstay ka dito. I care about you, you know? Sana 'wag mong parusahan 'yung sarili mong ganito. What happened? Let's talk about it. Kesa naman sa himatayin ka dito kasisigaw mo, at kaiiyak mo. Please," I said, my voice softening and cracking as I said the last word.

He stared into my eyes as if reading my soul, but I didn't avert my gaze. He sighed, at saka inumpisahan ang pagkukwento. He ran a hand through his hair which slightly dampened it. He looked like a fallen angel under the night sky, but I didn't wanna point it out. Not at a moment like this.

"Natsuki's so happy with her life now. I used to love her so much, Sai. Mahal na mahal ko siya nung mga panahon na 'yun pero never niyang naramdaman pabalik sakin 'yung pagmamahal na naramdaman ko sa kanya." Pagpapaliwanag niya, a small smile gracing his lips.