Spark in the darkness (Inspired by Why Don't We)

8. Back on track

I never liked being on my own. On Saturdays, I would always prepare myself for school and in the afternoon spend my time with Cay. I missed him like never before and I wanted to scream because I had no one to tell about it.

My friends didn't talk to me, since they thought that some space must be better for me than them always trying to cheer me up. I guess they were just fed up with my constant missing Cay.

I couldn't tell my parents either, as they would want to send me to a  psychologists. I wouldn't survive another "talk" with the woman.

So I was just desperately trying to learn how to play guitar instead. But the more effort I was giving into it, the worse I was at it.

I sighed, that day for the tenth time. It led to nowhere. I was slowly losing hope that I would be able to play it one day. And in that moment my eyes bursted with tears. 

I flopped myself down onto the bed, when I heard my phone buzzing. I glanced over at it, debating with myself whether I should check it or continue in staring at the ceiling. It was probably one of my classmates who was throwing a party I wasn't interested in.

However, the curiosity won and I looked at the message. I blinked when I realized it was from Ricky. It read. 

Hi, Emma. Sorry to disturb you, but I want to ask if you could send me the work for English. I have no idea what to write about. I promise I won't copy it. I'm just looking for inspiration ;)

I was staring at the message in disbelief. He hardly ever contacted me and when he did, it was always because of school. He probably didn't notice that since Cay was gone, my marks dropped to the lowest level and I didn't bother to do something about it. Missing Cay was on the top of my list and I was too occupied with it.

I texted him back. It's okay, you didn't disturb me. Sorry, can't help you with it. I don't have it and I'm not planning on doing it any time soon.

I huffed in annoyance. No one cared about my feelings, but about my work for English cared everyone. I hopped off the bed, absolutely outraged when I read his message.

Sorry to say this, but you should really move on. What's wrong? You used to be the top of our class. Get back on your feet. I say it for your own good

I screamed at the top of my lungs. "You damn idiot! I hate you! How could I even have a crush on you?! Go to hell and let me be!"

How could he even ask what's wrong? Nothing was right since the day that Cay got hit by that car.

I tugged at my hair, breathing abruptly, trying to steady my breathing. However, the door to my room swung open and revealed my worried dad.

"Emma, why were you shouting like that? What happened?" I just looked at him sadly. "Nothing, dad. Life is unfair."

He smiled at me apologetically. "I'm sorry. Do you want to talk about it?"

Yes. But with someone else.

How could I forget about Jack? He told me the day before that he would always be there for me. But I didn't want to bother him with my problems again. So I decided to go for a walk instead.

I left the house quietly. As soon as my feet touched the pavement, I started running. I had no idea where was I running, but soon I felt my lungs burning.

I wasn't sporty. In fact, I hated sport.

Suddenly, the anger in me disappeared when I got a brilliant idea. I decided to join Cay's athletics club and run and win that race for him.

My lips curled with a satisfied smile. The best idea I ever got. To prove everyone that I could overcome myself and my fears, because I had the best motivation - Cay.