Spark in the darkness (Inspired by Why Don't We)

9. Knight in shining armour

The rest of the weekend passed me like a blur of happy memories. I kept on reminiscing the nicely spent afternoon with Jack and somehow every time that I recalled his smile with sparling eyes, I had to smile too and found my heart beating fast.

It seemed like my sleeping and numb heart started living again every time I saw Jack. 

On Monday when I walked through the door of my classroom, I noticed everyone staring at me. I kept my head held up while I was walking past my classmates, but I felt their gazes burning a hole in the back of my head.

My cheeks were definitely red as tomatos, but my only thought was that it was maybe too soon to wear colourful clothes again. I was wearing my white skinny jeans and a yellow ruffled top, Cay's favourite blue hoodie in my hands. He was wearing it at the photo that was still hung in the entrance hall. It was like having him still with me, like he never left.

I sat myself down next to Ashley and said with a light smile. "Hi, Ash."

She turned to me. "Hi. You look better today." She smiled and looked at my clothes. I could practically feel Mike's fingers brushing against mine when he reached for my hand, but he pulled it back, afraid of my reaction. I felt bad for him instantly when I realized how badly I had treated them.

He said. "Hi, Em. It's true. You overcame your demons?" He asked softly, the hope in his voice almost touchable. I could feel my eyes burning of embarrassment. How could I even think they didn't care about me?

I looked up only to meet the questioning look of his green eyes. I mumbled. "Not really. I'm trying to, but it's hard." His face fell when he sighed.

"I know. I'm sorry, Em. I know I said it a thousand times, but it's never gonna be enough. What can we do to help you?"

I was caught off guard. I just stammered. "Just give me time, please. Can we please not talk about Cay? It makes me feel depressed." I must have sounded like a little kid.

What was wrong with me? I could easily talk to Jack about Cay but not to my best friends. That was a mystery.

Both of them nodded in unison, Ashley asking. "What do you want to talk about? I was afraid that if we just chatted about simple stuff you would say it's not important."

Her words had a massive effect on me, because I realized that it was true. I tried to say. "Well...." I trailed off. I didn't know what to talk about with them.

That was when it hit me. I lost my best friends because of the walls I have built all around me. I didn't know how to break them down.

Mike tried to save the situation. "Well, the weather is nice today..." I looked up at him with a shocked smile.

Ashley started to laugh. "Seriously, Mike? You're talking about weather?" He snapped at her playfully. "No, you didn't let me finish. I was going to say that the weather is nice today so we could go for a lunch outside."

I smiled lightly, which made them go on in cracking jokes. But I was caught in the spiral of my own thoughts again and stopped paying attention.

I was feeling lonely once that I realized that Jack was the only one I was able to talk to.

I checked my phone to turn it off when it buzzed, signalling that I got a message. I opened it, curious and a silly smile spread on my face when I read it.

I just slammed the door and left the key inside of the house. I left my skateboard there, so guess what....gonna be late for school again :)

I started laughing at Jack's message. I typed back. You're not gonna survive a day without skateboarding. Today no meeting in the skatepark then....:)