Narry One Shots

33. Kiss your baby goodbye

The door to the bathroom is slightly ajar, letting out into the hallway a soft humming of music. Soothing chords flutter in the air, nostalgia familiar to the blues written into the notes. The dreamy atmosphere lures Harry, pleading an invitation that cannot be denied. Careful not to alter the symphony, he takes a shy peek inside.

Niall's body is still in the intimate embrace of water. His hands loosely swinging from the hand rests, his head turned to the side with wet ruffled hair sticking to the man's forehead. The image is peaceful, promising an air of intimacy and vulnerability. A spark of excitement shoots down Harry's spine, spreading the warm jolts of electricity across his nerves.

A few silent steps and he's kneeling in front of the bath. His eyes follow a path, taking in Niall's face travelling down the neck to the man's chest and torso, slightly wandering off to admire the outstretched arms and hands. Harry memorises every feature, all the shapes, carving that nudity into his mind, heart, soul. He notes all the details, furrowing his brows as he's studying the innocency of that youthful man sleeping and dreaming.

"Went out walkin' through the wood the other day
Can't you see the furrows in my forehead?
What tender days we had no secrets hid away
Now it seems about a hundred years ago"

The unnamed song sneers at Harry's senses, the lyrics weighing down on his sorrowful heart. It hasn't always been easy, being with Niall. Whatever emotions they share, they're always strong and powerful. Sometimes the doves fly above their heads, spreading the joyous love, and all is in perfect order, their heartbeats tied in unison - a seemingly unbreakable bond. Their love is honest and pure, fulfilled by a tender devotion. It's those days when lighting strikes that cloud Harry's mind though. The sky around them turns dark then, never allowing a hopeful snatch of sunshine in to ease off the tension. Hellish thoughts surround them, and spiteful words are brutally thrown aiming at the other's heart. A wall separates those two opposing forces, a wall so great and so tall that nothing can shatter it. So they have to strip it down, brick by brick, stone by stone. Albeit they often find that they've overestimated their strength. Exhausted, both men give up, a wall separating two hearts that long to be close.

"Now if you see me drinkin' bad red wine
Don't worry 'bout this man that you love
Don't you think it's sometimes wise not to grow up?"

It's not wine, but there's a half-empty bottle of beer on a shelf. Harry sighs. His hands reaching out slowly in hesitation. He craves to touch that smooth pale skin, recognise the approval under his fingers as they trace Niall's body. The cold wet skin stretched over the ribcage that slightly pops out, rising steadily with every breath the Irishman takes, is indifferent to the first trace. So Harry allows himself to go a little further, test it out while Niall is still unconscious. And he drags his fingers up, leading them right in the middle of the man's chest until he reaches the collarbones. He notices a little reaction on Niall, a small sigh as he delicately shifts his head. Harry awaits, but soon all is still again. So he's drawing circles into Niall's skin, writing letters and words he wishes to say out loud, but cannot find the courage to. He's apologising, telling just how much he's missing his lover; but he also lets a few harsher words slip in. Are those words of regret? Or rather of resignation? For he's still bitter over that affair, angry with Niall, and proud in his refusal to forgive.

"You're gonna kiss and say goodbye, yeah, I warn you
You're gonna kiss and say goodbye, yeah, I warn you
You're gonna kiss and say goodbye, oh Lord, I warn you
Please excuse me while I hide away"

The song throws punches at Harry, catching him unarmed, defenceless. The man has to restrain that urge to sink the speaker in the bath, letting the water swallow those ugly lyrics. But he's overly sensitive, and a little scared too. Paradoxically, it's him, not Niall that's vulnerable, open to any attack. The music picks up, from the nostalgic sweet tone switching to a vulgar and violent cry of despair and fury. It's the honesty that incenses Harry the most. How dare it scream the truth at him? Why can't it deceive anymore? Why did it have to seduce him first and now wound his already aching heart further?

He looks at Niall's calm face. Its serenity touching him again. And he leans in, his lips closing in on Niall's, sucking out those innocent breaths. Then he'll leave and say goodbye. Just one more kiss. Maybe someday in another city, they'll meet one another again, and maybe, that time the weather will be right? Maybe, but for now, it must be a case closed sealed with that bittersweet promise of a goodbye.

"Kiss your baby
Kiss your baby
Goodbye, goodbye"

With one last longing peck to Niall's lips, Harry gets up from the cold floor and leaves.

So I fell asleep in the bath today...

Love,
Jade