A Flower's Nudity

4

"May pros and cons ang pagiging matalino. Pros, they consider a lot of problems as mere mind games and are entertaining. They can invent something extraordinary and leave legacy. They can think logically even in a stress situation and can work well in a minimal supervision. Sometimes, they can stay cool even under pressure. Intelligent people are more likely to gain respect and preferences from people."

"Indeed. Kapag matalino ka, marami kang magagawa. Marami kang matatanggap at malayo ang mararating mo."

"Nevertheless, intelligence does not result pure advantages. Some people abuse their capability, and that's when the disadvantages occur. They stay away from people who make them feel stupid. Madalas din silang makakita ng mali sa iba, ng pagkukulang. They are also at risk of sounding arrogant because they think they're the best, they think they are superior of others. Consequently, it will hinder them from accepting suggestions and criticisms. They won't heed pieces of advice because they are used of being the one who teaches, gives orders, and pinpoints mistakes. Some intelligent individuals who look too much of themselves can possibly turn into self-righteous people."

"That's a bad thing."

"Absolutely. You know what's the most possible result of it? In fact, it's the worst result of it."

"Tell me."

"Everyone . . . Everyone will leave you."

Ipinilig ko ang aking ulo. Hindi ko alam kung bakit bigla-bigla ko na lang naaalala ang mga 'yan. It was a dialogue in one of our activities during senior high school. We are tasked to create a dialogue out of the given topic and present it for partial fulfillment of our requirements in Discipline and Ideas in Applied Social Sciences. I was assigned to record every presentation, and this is the most remarkable.

Doing nothing in this house, memories are randomly flashing like I permitted them in passing by. Kulang na lang bilangin ko na rin ang aking pulse rate sa sobrang pagka-buryo.

Gayunpaman, walang magawa ang utak ko kung hindi bumalik sa mga alaala na nagbigay ng marka sa aking buhay—mga pinagtagpi-tagping pangyayari na siyang nagdala sa akin ngayon dito.

I have a very sharp memory. I can clearly remember that the day after the dialogue performance in DIASS was our university ball. My mom was out of town ang my dad is nowhere to be found. Our driver was sick, and an asshole sabotaged my car. It was an exact midnight and I ran out of choices—I needed to take a ride with my cousins.

"Hid, you drive," Poppy said as she handed me the keys.

"Of course, I'll drive. Don't give me orders." I settled in front of the steering wheel. I guess this MPV is Poppy's. Or is it Nite's? I am not truly aware who owns what.

"Hid, drive safely." Ngayon naman ay boses iyon ni Perrie.

Natigil akong saglit bago ipinasok ang susi para sa pag-andar. "Don't give me orders, I said. And I heard that two of you called me Hid, but I don't remember myself being close to anyone of you."

Wala ni isa ang nagsalita na. I was about to rev the engine when I noticed that no one sat beside me.

"What? No one's sitting here?" tukoy ko sa tabi ko.

I looked at my cousins through the rearview mirror. Halos sabay-sabay pa silang umiling.

"So, all of you will sit in the passenger's seat?" I stupidly asked.

Ngayon naman ay sabay-sabay silang tumango.

I gritted my teeth and breathed out. "Okay, fuck."