Sunshine After The Rain

Chapter Three

Sophie's eyes remained fixated on the man across the table from her. He appeared absolutely nothing like her deceased husband, which was a comfort. Lucas seemed to be about half a foot taller than Jason was. The only things they seemed to have in common were their eyebrows and the crease between them, both of which they obtained from their father. Despite never meeting Lucas' mother, all else appeared to come from her, including temperament and the darker tint of his skin.

"You're not what I expected either," Lucas spoke, shattering the silence.

Sophie broke the stare and ran her fingers through her dark hair, leaning back against the worn blue cast iron chair. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize," he replied swiftly. "I get it. You probably figured I'd be showing up in a suit and tie, if I bothered showing up at all. Thought I'd have some big important job on the other side of the country that I always choose over my family. And if I did bother showing up, I'd be the spitting image of my brother."

Though there was a minor trace of a smile most of the way through, it dissolved by the time Lucas spoke of his brother.

Sophie took a sip of her mimosa and shyly nodded her agreement. He'd hit the nail on the head and she wasn't about to deny it. "I met your brother my first year of college and now I'm almost thirty. You have a niece and a nephew you've never met, so I have to ask, why?" Being cryptic wasn't Sophie's style, but she could tell how his eyes dwindled to the table he realized what she was asking.

"My dad started at a much smaller law firm. He knocked up one of the partner's daughters and it was either abort the baby, marry her, or become a social pariah. He married her, which meant divorcing my mother, who worked two jobs while he was in law school to keep them afloat. He left when I was ten and I didn't see him again until I was fourteen. Even after that, it was only twice a year at most.

"When he didn't show up for my high school graduation, I got in my car and drove over to his house, which I'd never been invited to, and that was the first time I'd met my brother. My dad and Laura were having a party, and it wasn't even to celebrate anything. He just forgot. That night him and I had a big fight and I've only seen him a handful of times since.

"Jason and I tried to form a relationship when he got older, but it never took. I think we were just too different to form any genuine bond."

Nothing made her feel more like an outsider than Lucas' story. Sophie hadn't known about any of this. She'd always assumed that her father-in-law was a divorcee when he met Laura. The truth was, she'd been a homewrecker and something about that made her smile inside. "That's why you didn't come to our wedding?"

A sigh filled the air, but Sophie dared not glance up. It was the forth Mississippi before he spoke again. "My daughter was four years old when she was diagnosed with leukemia, about a month after you two got engaged. I didn't tell him because we weren't close and because I thought her odds were good. Her funeral was the day before your wedding, which was why so many guests missed your rehearsal dinner. I told them not to say anything because I didn't want to ruin your wedding."

Lucas went quiet then, his tone reaching barely a whisper when he spoke again. "He never forgave me for not letting him be there for his only nieces funeral and I don't blame him. Once he had his own kids, he decided that since he couldn't be there when Arianna got sick and couldn't be there for her death, then I shouldn't be allowed to be there for his children's lives and that was that."

Losing a child was just about the worst situation conceivable, let alone having to suffer that pain every waking moment of every single day. Knowing that her husband couldn't cast aside his own resentment to be there for his brother during that time was disgraceful, but she couldn't presume to know what she would do or say in that same position with either man.

She knew that he lost his daughter somewhere around the time of the wedding, but wasn't aware that it was only days before. She recalled her husband visiting his brother not long after they returned from their honeymoon, and he told her of his, or rather, their niece's death. When Jason didn't appear to want to talk about it, Sophie didn't press.

He'd just told a complete stranger about the worst thing that could ever happen in someone's life and Sophie could tell it troubled him to have to say the words aloud, even after all this time. Though she already knew of his loss, Sophie assumed it must have been hard to open up and did the same in return. "Jason asked for a divorce the night of the accident." What compelled her to speak her own hard truth aloud, she wasn't certain. It was the very first time, not even having told her own mother about it yet.

"He'd been having an affair for months and was leaving me for her and I'm too damn mad about it to feel the heartbreak I'm supposed to feel. Jason was my entire world and one of the last things he ever said was that he never loved me the way he should have. And now I'm stuck being this grieving widow who lost her husband before he even died and I don't know what in the hell I'm supposed to do or say or feel and I'm just so fucking tired and can barely breathe."

There it all was. Sophie had just unloaded on the brother-in-law she'd never met as if he were a priest taking her confession. Now that she dared look up at him, she noticed his face strangely calm, as if he knew all along or was maybe too bewildered to take most of it in.

"No one knows, do they?" he asked, so calm and collected that if he hadn't asked, Sophie wasn't certain he'd heard the words at all.

"No," Sophie confessed.

Lucas nodded nonchalantly and crisscrossed his arms as he leaned back in the chair. "Just because my brother is dead doesn't mean you can't speak your truth about him, even if it's just to me and just this once or as many times as you need to say it."

The question was, 'what was her truth'? Jason was a man who, until the last few months, treated her well. But he also cheated, deceived and wasted years of her life by keeping her in a marriage that carried little importance to him.

The waitress placed their food in front of them and Sophie waited until she left before finally saying her truth aloud. "Jason was an asshole."

"Yes he was," Lucas agreed. "It's okay to be angry about it, Sophie. His death doesn't erase his actions in life."

Somehow the reassurance meant more to Sophie than she expected. Whatever she felt for Jason was her right to feel.

Sophie looked down at the food in front of her, hoping she'd feel hungry when she saw it, to no avail. "I know we don't know each other well, and I'll admit that I'm apparently not always an expert judge of character, but I'd like to think you're a good person."

A small, tired smile appeared on Lucas' face and he let out a soft breath before nodding. "I try to be."

"My husband's decision to keep you out of our kids' lives was his own," Sophie began picking up her glass to take a sip. "I don't believe in making those types of decisions out of spite and I don't want my kids to suffer just because Jason couldn't let go of his anger. I want you to be in their lives, Lucas. I want them to have an uncle and I want them to have a man around they can look up to and rely on to be there for them when they need you."

Another breath. A wider smile.

It was true Sophie knew little about the man who sat across from her, but he was nevertheless her children's blood and perhaps the most down-to-earth person in the family. Her kids needed a little down-to-earth in this town, assuming she remained there.

The thought crossed her mind to move out of their sizeable house and out of that pretentious neighborhood, but it was too serious a decision to make on impulse. Just thinking about it was enough to make her heart fill with some measure of optimism.

"I'd love to be in their lives."