Sunshine After The Rain

Chapter Twenty- Four

The women began by emptying the contents in the kitchen of Jason's 'love shack', as they dubbed it. Anna was on the couch with a spoon and carton of cookie dough ice cream while the two women who weren't pregnant indulged in Jason's fine taste in booze.

"I thought Lucas was going to help move all this crap," Anna mumbled before filling her mouth with ice cream.

Sophie stared down at the amber liquid in her glass. She never much cared for whiskey, but being in her husband's side home he'd set up as a decoy made her in desperate need for a drink. Now the booze seemed to have an entirely new purpose. "He headed home early."

"It's because of me, isn't it," Anna guessed inaccurately. "He's still not okay with me being around you, is he?"

"It's because he got a little too okay with being around Sophie," Lily told her as she plopped down in the large reclining chair, liquid jumping out of her glass and splashing across her clothing. "It seems the mighty giant has a bit of a soft spot for his brother's wife, which is the only soft spot on that man's body. Not that they allowed me to do a thorough check."

Sophie hated hearing her friend call him that. She wasn't Jason's wife anymore. She was his widow, and not even that if he'd stayed alive long enough to follow through on the divorce. His brother's widow wasn't exactly a step up. It made Sophie feel worse about the whole thing.

After she downed the liquid in the glass, Sophie set it on the table in front of her, hoping rings would be left on the table by her not using a coaster. Jason always hated when someone didn't use a coaster.

"You and Lucas?" Anna asked, her voice coming out higher than normal. "Seriously?"

Sophie shook her head before she leaned against the expensive couch. "There is no me and Lucas. We aren't anything." Those last words hit Sophie like a hammer to the gut, and her eyes closed as if to shield herself from the pain of it. "We aren't even friends anymore."

Lily walked over to the couch and plopped herself between the two women, putting her arm around Sophie and tugging her against her body. "I'm your friend."

The words that would normally bring Sophie comfort didn't work the same magic they usually held. "You don't live here, Lily. Having him so close by, it felt like I had someone always looking out for me. I didn't know how much I needed that until he came into my life. Now having him this close will feel like torture."

"Because you have feelings for him?" Anna guessed this time right on the money.

"Yes," Sophie admitted, the word barely coming out a whisper. "All the reasons we can't ever have anything make sense, so much sense that I wasn't able to see him that way because it was ludicrous. Now that I can see it, I can't shut it off and all the reasons just feel like excuses."

Lily leaned forward and refilled Sophie's glass, picked it up from the table, and brought it back to the couch. She didn't speak until Sophie took the glass from her grasp. "You wanted me to come here and tell you what I thought of Lucas, so that's exactly what I'm going to do. The man looks at you with so much intensity that sometimes even I have trouble breathing. You could fill a room with supermodels, and his eyes would only be on you. Lucas would do anything for you, Sophie, even if it meant causing himself pain, which is what he did when he told you. He saw you suffering and took a step back so you wouldn't have to suffer worse by falling for someone you know you can't have. That wasn't easy for him, Sophie. The whole car ride back, he seriously looked like he was in real physical pain."

A hiccup escaped Sophie's lips, followed by a squeak, then a quick sob. "I'm suffering worse because he stepped back!"

"And what if he stepped forward?" Anna asked.

Sophie shook her head. She knew what the question meant, but couldn't claim to know what she'd do. "Probably taken a step back," Sophie guessed. "But that's because I liked things the way they were."

Lily squeezed her tight. "That's not how life works. You can't just freeze things in time. People change and situations change. I know it hurts to hear, but Lucas did the right thing and did it with the exact right intentions. You're falling too hard and too damn fast, and trust me, I get why. The first ten seconds I saw him, I wanted that guy to put a baby in me.

"But you said it yourself, you can't trust your emotions right now and falling for him would set yourself up for a broken heart. And he's right. You need time to put your life back together before you try to put another person into the mix."

Sophie downed the glass once again. "What if I have my life back together, and it just feels empty without him in it?"

"Then you know it's actual love," Lily answered.