Sunshine After The Rain

Chapter Twelve

Sophie watched with fascination as Joel paced the room. It took him forty minutes to return from his first day back at work, five minutes to catch him up on everything he'd missed, and now he was pacing the living room that was three times the size of hers, and looked strangely like Lucas as he did so.

The two men had shown such few similarities, yet right now every feverish step, every gesture, every expression, appeared identical. They'd been mostly vacant in each other's lives, but in this moment they were the same man.

"How long have you known about this, Sophie?"

Forced out of her thoughts, Sophie looked up at the formerly pacing man, who'd paused briefly in front of her. "I've had my suspicions for months. All the signs were there, but he confirmed it that night." There was no need to state which 'night' she was referring to. It was the night every single one of their worlds changed, and Jason's world had ended.

"But you didn't know she was pregnant?"

Sophie shook her head, her hair sticking against her sweaty face as she did so. "I didn't find that out until I spoke to Garret after the funeral."

"And you didn't know he was married?" he asked, directing his attention to the woman sitting beside her.

"I swear, he told me him and his wife were separated and divorcing," Anna defended. "I knew he was still technically married, but not that married. Now that I look back, I probably should have known. He always had something to get to after..."

Her eyes travelled to Sophie, and she knew what Anna was about to say. 'After they had sex', or some variation of that.

There was no polite way to phrase that given the company she was with, so Anna skipped that part entirely. "Either his son had an activity at the school going on, or Garret had a crisis, or he had to go to the office to work on a case. I didn't notice there was anything wrong when we were still new, but when we started getting more serious, it was obvious something was going on. Serious couples stay at each other's places, and we only did that three or four times. A few nights we didn't have plans to get together, I'd go to surprise him at his apartment because I got off work early, but he wasn't there.

"I started to wonder if he was cheating on me, but I never suspected he was living with his wife that entire time."

They'd both been made fools at the hand's of Jason. They were both blinded by love and hope and all the other feelings that led to heartbreak and disappointment.

"What are you looking for now, young lady?" Laura interjected after having remained strangely quiet since she'd called Joel to return home.

"I'm not looking for anything," Anna spoke with a shake of her head. "I've got some money saved up and Sophie wanted to give me what she feels Jason would have provided if he was still around, which I want to make clear I did not ask for. The only reason I'm here is because Sophie wanted the two of you to know that you have another grandchild on the way, because she felt you deserved to know.

"I'm not here to force my way into anyone's life or to steal anyone's fortune. If you want to be in your grandkid's life, great. If not, I'll keep my distance. Simple as that."

If only any of this could be simple. So far Sophie only had time to feel grief in fragments. The rest of her time filled with end-of-life paperwork and the soap opera her husband left behind. All she wanted was a time machine to travel back to last year, so she could reignite any flames that were relinquished. Her and Jason could find their passion again so the love he felt for her in the moment he met Anna was strong enough to fight temptation with ease.

Joel let out a grunt and rubbed at his silver beard, his eyes remaining on Anna for a while longer before on to Sophie. "Dear, may I speak to you alone in my office."

As Sophie spared Lucas a quick glance, nodded, and stood up to follow Joel out of the room, she couldn't help but feel she was being sent to the principal's office. The only time she'd been sent to the principal's office, it was not an enjoyable feeling, much like this one.

When Joel sat in his large leather seat, Sophie closed the door behind her, sitting across from her in the much smaller chair she assumed made people feel insignificant by comparison.

"You're a strong woman, Sophie. Much stronger than I'm afraid I ever gave you credit for. When my ex-wife found out of my indiscretions... let's just say I wouldn't wish that heartbreak on anyone, or wish to inflict it ever again."

Joel cleared his throat, then clasped his hands against the extensive wooden desk in front of him. "Losing my son has been the worst pain I've ever had to endure. I may not show my grief like some would in my situation, but you've known me long enough to understand that I don't wear my emotions where everyone can see."

Sophie nodded her agreement. "Am I in trouble?"

"Why would you think you're in trouble?" Joel asked with a scrunched face.

"I feel like I'm in a disciplinary meeting is all."

Joel let out a quiet, dry laugh. "I assure you, Sophie, that was not my intention. I asked you in here because I would like you to know that despite my words at the funeral, my son was not a saint. While I wasn't aware of him having an affair, or his intention of leaving you, I know he wasn't a perfect man.

"Unfortunately, Jason took after me more than I would have liked. Like me, he didn't make time for his family, worked himself to the bone, not because of his work ethic, but because nothing was ever enough. Jason also struggled with showing emotion toward you, his children, us... He was a closed book, but he loved you, Sophie, and he loved his children. I only wish I'd been a better role model for him while he was growing up, and I will live with that regret for the rest of my life.

"If I'd made more time for both my sons, Jason would have had a better role model, at the very least with Lucas. I've never told him this, but I'm very proud of the man Lucas grew up to be. He may have hit a rough patch some years back, but he paved his own way, showed his love, and worked hard; not because nothing was ever enough, but because he wanted to earn what he had and be proud of his accomplishments.

"I should have seen that my son's had a relationship, but I failed them both. Because of that, Jason walked in my path other than his own, and I'm more sorry for that than you could ever understand. I love Jason, now and forever, but I don't condone his actions with that woman out there, even if I am guilty of the same. My son should have appreciated a good thing when he had it."

Sophie wiped two tears off of her cheek, not knowing she was crying until she felt the dampness of her skin. "I'm really not sure what to say," she replied honestly.

Joel straightened himself in the enormous chair and rubbed at his silvery beard once again. "I wish to learn from my mistakes in life and be there for my grandchildren more. All of my grandchildren. The child growing inside that woman deserves to have a family, and, with your permission, I would like to provide them one."

"You don't need my permission."

Joel gave her a close-lipped smile. "I'd like to have it all the same."