Sunshine After The Rain

Chapter Eighteen

"It's peaceful here," Sophie noticed aloud as she stared out his living room window toward the lake just down the hill.

Lucas set a glass of wine on the table beside her and slid his hands in the pocket of his jeans as he stood by her side.

Her eyes surveyed the property in front of her, from the freshly cut grass to the outdoor furniture, which had a natural woodsy look to it, fitting for the area, and meshed well with the rest of the furniture in the house which Sophie imagined he built. "Did you make that set?"

"I did. First set I made after buying this place. An old high school buddy of mine came over not long after I moved back and asked me to make him a set. Everything just sort of took off from there."

Sophie wanted that moment; something that called to her and started her life anew. The only passion she'd ever really had was painting, which she was decent at, but didn't quite captivate that spark.

"Speaking of furniture."

"You find a picture of a table?"

Sophie pried her eyes from the yard and turned to face Lucas. "Nope, and I'm not going to look. I want a Lucas Mancini original."

A smile tugged at one corner of Lucas' mouth. "Do you now?"

"Yup," Sophie said with a nod. "I don't want a copy. I want you to use your imagination and build me something that'll make me smile every time I look at it."

Lucas rubbed at his beard once more, keeping eye contact. "How about you tell me what you want your dream house to look like, and I'll make sure the entire damn place has you smiling?"

Sophie had to think about that one. She remembered going with Lily to her uncle's beach cottage the summer before they started college and it being the most relaxing time of her life. She also didn't want to respond on a whim, however, and have her entire house molded after an image she had put little thought into. "I'll let you know."

"You do that," Lucas responded, his dark brown eyes softening as he continued looking at her.

The longer he looked at her, the more peaceful the world seemed to become. Although Sophie's mind told her to look anywhere but at him, her heart didn't appear to listen. She'd looked at this man so many times in the brief period of time she'd known him, but as Sophie looked into his eyes, she truly saw Lucas.

It was doing perfect things to her heart and stomach, and the terror of what that meant allowed Sophie to finally break the stare.

"It's getting late," Sophie spoke, her voice escaping with a croak. "We should probably leave now if we want to get back by sundown."

Lucas took a step back and ran his fingers through his hair, Sophie acutely aware of the action on an entirely new level. "Earlier today you asked me why I was so good to you, and I gave you a laundry list of reasons, which were all true. The biggest reason is I'm falling for you, Sophie." His hand moved from his hair to the back of his neck, then to his shoulder. "Not really falling, since I'm already there and then some, but you get what I'm saying."

Unable to think up a single word in all the dictionary, Sophie just nodded her response.

"The thing of it is, I can't kiss you. Not saying you want me to, just saying I can't. Kissing you would probably go down as one of the top three best moments of my life, but It'd be a no-win. If you didn't want me to, our friendship would be shot to shit, and things would get awkward. If you wanted me to, nothing could come of it anyhow. You've just buried your husband and aren't near ready to jump into anything, and there's the issue of me being the uncle to your children."

Sophie nodded her head again, seeming unable to do anything else in that moment, and took it all in, little by little. Despite the feelings she had when she truly saw him and all he was for the first time, Lucas was right. If there was any man Sophie could trust to accept her heart and take care of it, it would be him. But Sophie wasn't yet ready to take that leap of faith, and once she finally was somewhere far down the road, she still couldn't take that leap with him.

Lucas would never be an option, and Sophie didn't know why that disappointed her so much considering she hadn't even thought about him that way until a minute or two ago. "Why tell me then?"

Lucas shrugged, then picked up his glass of wine and sat down in his black leather chair. "Promised myself and you, I'd never lie to you. Omitting the truth isn't much better than lying. That, and I'm not much good at hiding what I feel or keeping my thoughts to myself. Figured I might as well just rip off the band-aid and be done with it."

Sophie picked up her own wineglass and held it by her chest rather than drinking it. He really was a transparent guy, which was both comforting and unnerving. Wearing his heart on his sleeve like that was ensuring it would eventually fall and break, but Sophie didn't want to be the one to break it and couldn't be the one to take it for safekeeping.

She was at a fork in the road, both of which were dead ends.

"Thanks for wanting me," Sophie said honestly, uncertain of what else really could be said. "It's nice being wanted, even if it's at the wrong time and by the wrong person. Not that you're the wrong person, exactly."

Lucas let out a soft laugh. "I get what you're saying. And you're very welcome, Sophie."

"So, what happens now? We just go back to being friends?"

Lucas took a drink of his wine, then set it on the small table beside him. "We never stopped. Unless you want some space. Then I'd respect that." Lucas shook his head and leaned further back in the chair. "I admit, I probably should have thought this through better before I opened my mouth. Seems I do that a lot around you."

Sophie still wasn't entirely sure what he could have possibly been attracted to. She was undeniably and thoroughly a hot mess. If the years of being a parent hadn't done her in, burying her husband did the trick. She was tired, and never did lose much of the baby weight she gained from Ella. Her face was dotted with stress acne that she'd covered up until he surprised her the day before. With two young kids and a recently dead husband, along with enough drama to fill a dump truck, Sophie was hardly a catch.

That, and he was... well, him. Built like a fighter, the heart of a poet, and the looks of a Disney prince. Lucas was, it would seem, the most honest man she knew, and the kindest. Whatever woman won his heart later on down the road won the lottery of men.

"I don't want space," Sophie answered. She didn't know if she could even properly run her life without his help.

Things might get awkward, but awkward was better than not having Lucas around at all.

Lucas flashed her a slight smile, then retrieved his wineglass from the table. "Good. Then I won't give it."