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      i hopped down the stairs two at a time.
     "hi, mommy. i'm going to richie's house! i'll be back in time for supper, i promise."
     i smiled at her. she didn't know, but this was mine and richie's one year anniversary.
     "i don't want you going over there today eddie."
     "what? why not?" i asked her, shifting my bag full of chocolate for richie from one shoulder to the other.
"because, you've been spending a lot of time with that dirty boy."
i made a sound of disgust in the back of my throat and rolled my eyes. "he's not like that mom, he's a good kid."
"why are you defending him? is he your boyfriend?"
if i knew my mother wouldn't act like the homophobe she was, i would have told her the truth. but i'd get kicked out in a heartbeat.
"oh my god, he's not my boyfriend mom," i groaned. "now can i please go?"
     "sit down first," she demanded.
     i groaned and plopped down on the sofa across from her, wrapping my arms around myself. "yes?"
     "you know i don't like that boy, why do you always stand up for him?" she whined.
     "he's my best friend mom..." i told her.
     "a boy's mother should be his best friend!" my mother exclaimed.
     i cringed. "can i go now?" i asked, not having enough energy to argue with her about this. besides, richie was waiting on me.
     "you can't just leave me eddie," she squawked, fluttering her hands about her. "i need you."
     my stomach dropped. of course she had to do this now.
     her eyes filled with tears. "you're all i have left of your father, please don't leave me."
     tears welled up in my eyes too. she always fucking did this. she'd guilt trip me into staying with her. but today, richie was more important.
     "mommy, i promise that i'll spend all day with you tomorrow, but i need to see richie today," i explained to her, tears streaming down my face.
i stood up to leave, but my mother wrapped her short, pudgy fingers around my frail wrist.
"you don't deserve friends," she spat out angrily.
my words got stuck in my throat. i knew she was right about that.
"you're annoying, you never shut up, you know they don't really care about you. they just feel bad," she snarled.
a small sob escaped my throat. "i know mommy."
her hand tightened around my wrist, drawing me in closer.
"why are you so obsessed with that boy?" she asked through gritted teeth.
i swallowed hard, feeling a sweat break out across my forehead. "like i told you mommy, he's my best friend..."
"he doesn't love you," she growled.
my heart dropped, and i felt like vomiting. "i know. can i go now?" i breathed.
"you still want to fucking go?!" she screamed. "after everything i told you?"
"yes." i was firm in my words although tears welled were streaming down my face at an alarming rate, but my mother finally realized i would be going to richie's no matter what she said.
i ripped my arm from her grip and began walking out the door.
she got up, following me, her book still gripped tightly in her other hand.
"i wish i'd never had you!" she screamed as i placed my hand on the doorknob.
i gasped in shock. she'd never told me anything like that. anger rolled over me like a wave, and i stormed out of the house.
she strode out to the porch, throwing her book after me. "don't bother coming home if you're going to act ungrateful!" she yelled harshly after me.
i couldn't think of anything to say, so i just flipped her off and kept walking.



i knocked on richie's door; it flung open after a minute, showing richie's bright, cheerful face, grinning happily at me.
his smile fell as soon as he saw my face. "you've been crying," he said, shocked.
i chose not to answer him; instead, i unzipped my backpack, producing the chocolate. "happy anniversary!" i said, trying to smile and not break down again.
richie must have known how close i was to crying. "come in eds."
i walked inside; he grabbed my hand and we walked up to his room.
on his bed, there was a box wrapped in sparkly red paper.
richie sat me down on the bed and crouched down so we were eye to eye.
"are you ok baby?" he asked me softly, brushing my hair back.
i squeezed my eyes shut tightly and pulled richie into a hug. he held me snugly to his chest; i could feel my tears soaking the front of his hawaiian print shirt.
richie shuffled us around to where he was sitting on the bed and i was straddling his lap.
"are you ok?" he whispered.
i took in a shuttering breath. "yes."
"eds, what happened?"
"it was nothing. it was just my mom."
"that doesn't seem like nothing eds," he whispered gently.
"i'm ok now... but do you think i could stay the night? i kinda got kicked out."
richie coughed which sounded a lot like a laugh. "of course eds, i've been trying to get you to move in for a year now."
"thanks love."
"oh, you have to open your present!" richie exclaimed.
i slowly moved off of him, sitting cross legged on his bed.
he handed me the box, grinning excitedly.
i opened it, pulling out a photo album. i flipped through it, tears welling up in my eyes again.
it was a lot of pictures of me and richie- kissing, laughing, and dancing- with a few random pictures of the losers club.
i smiled up at him, a few tears escaping my eyes. "i love it 'chee."
he smiled, attacking me in a hug. i flopped backwards on his bed, letting him lay on top of me.
i looked up at him with pure adoration in my eyes. "you wanna know something 'chee?"
"hmm?" he asked, smiling lovingly down at me.
"heaven is a place on earth with you."

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