loverboys || benjey

16

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My alarm rang at 6:00. It fucking scared the shit out of me. I hadn't slept very well, my head had been spinning all night, wondering if this day would be okay. I know I had Benji, but I was still extremely nervous.
I got out of bed and headed towards the bathroom to wash up before school. I didn't want to look too shitty so people could give me a reputation before they even knew me.
I didn't entirely want to come off to bold quite yet, I grabbed a pastel blue long sleeve, and some faded mom jeans to go with.

I threw them on then hurried down stairs. My mother was already in the kitchen drinking her coffee and waiting for me. "Ready to go hon?" She questioned as she grabbed her keys and travel mug.

"Yes maam." I said sort of quiet. My brain was wrapped up into many thoughts. She nodded and we both went out into her small silver car. The school was only a bit aways from our house, but my mother offered to drive me today because of my anxiety with it all. I played soft music through the speakers on the five minute drive. It helped me calm down.

My mother pulled in and then my anxiety heightened once more. shit. Stay clam Jorge, please.
"Jey; please try and have a good day. I'm sure you'll love it here, text me if you need me, I love you!"

I nodded slightly spacing out, "I love you too mama." I said before opening the car door and getting out. It was only around 7:00 and the school was already crowded. I was supposed to be waiting for Benji at the front, but I felt exposed and embarrassed. I stood there for a few minutes before I figured people would start to stare at me. Or at least that's what my brain assumed. I glanced around and no people were thankfully, except a girl and a boy standing a bit aways. That just added onto my anxiety and I swiftly went inside and headed toward a bathroom. Sorry Benji.

The boys bathroom was cooler than the main school, and I walked over to the sink splashing my face. I started to pick apart my outfit, I looked bad. I wondered what everyone would say about me. I wondered if Benji even really cared. If my mother did this just to make my life worse. Many different things spiraled around my head and it suddenly felt harder to breathe. My phone chimes and I grabbed for it needing some stable.

Benjamin💘💕❤️: Jorge where are you? Are you late on ur first day you dork??

Jorge🐟🌸: bathorom

Benjamin💘💕❤️: What are you doing there you? I'm pretty sure I said outSide the school, not "in the bathroom" jey 🙈

Benjamin💘💕❤️: Jorge?

Benjamin💘💕❤️: Are you alright?

Benjamin💘💕❤️: I'm coming to find you stay where you are.
seen 7:04am

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My heart felt like it was beating out of my chest and I couldn't stop shaking. I couldn't believe I was having a panic attack on my first day. This was shit. My phone laid open on the ground, I saw Benji's text but It was hard to reply through the tears in my eyes. I just wanted to go home, to Madrid. I don't like it here. I kept shaking, sitting on the empty bathroom floor now.
I couldn't stop thinking when Benji walked in, the second I saw him I thought. 'Why does he care?' and 'He doesn't want me here'. But I knew that half of that was just my unreasonable thinking.

"Jorge, shit, are you okay?" He leaned down next to me and I began to shake more and let out a sob. Why was he so nice. Why was everyone so nice. I don't deserve it, I never have. I couldn't get the idea of leaving out of my mind.

"N-no" I managed to get out. It felt like my lungs were genuinely closing off.

Then Benji shocked me, and wrapped me into a hug. He was warm, and smelt like a strawberry vanilla mix. I loved it. I continued to cry into his shoulder as my shaking calmed down and eventually the tears did too. He lectured me on my breathing and told me to inhale slowly through my nose and then out through my mouth. I followed his orders, why not? I was happy he was trying to help me.
It took fifteen minutes before I was fully stable again.

We both sat on the floor together, of the boys bathroom, hugging. I was in Benji's lap, which once I was finally non-panic attack mode, blushed about. It was cute. I pulled away from our hug and looked at his face. He had fake freckles on again today, and a hint of blush. Then his lips, they looked so soft, I wanted to reach out and just...I don't know.
Silly things really.
I didn't want to think of Benji this way.
Yet I could not stop staring at his perfect lips and face.

"I'd say 'take a picture it'll last longer' but that's an overused joke, and I like the attention I get from you" He smiled and I felt my blush darken by x10.

"Shut up, you've just got a nice face to look at okay?" I sighed extra dramatically, then moved out of his lap, slowly standing up. I watched as he did the same and then I grabbed my stuff.

"Are you okay now?" He asked getting all serious again and I nodded. I didn't tell him why I had a panic attack. And he didn't ask. I liked that about him. "Okay, well if you need anything I'm here angel."

My head whipped around and I looked at him face to face. My face was beyond redder than a tomato. Sure Benji has called me nicknames over text; and even occasionally on facetime. But this was face to face. And it somehow made it ten times better. He stood there just smiling cheekily at me; and then somehow. I just knew today would be good.
How could it not?
Benji Krol was by my side.

"What..? Ugh whatever, let's just go, I don't want to be late for class on my first day." I sighed, looking at the other, now it was his turn to blush. I just laughed then grabbed his hand, leading him out into the now packed hallway.

"Welcome to Waterridge High school Jorge, go find your locker. I'll see you around crazy kid." Benji ruffled my hair and I smiled as I watched him walk in one direction while I headed into another in an attempt to locate my locker.
I'm going to be just fine here.