Dear Diary,
I'm at a point where I don't know what to say.
How many times am I gonna talk about dad or Ned or Harry? How many times am I gonna talk about razors and blood and vomit?
How many times am I gonna pretend?
I thought about burning you. I thought about burning me.
I just want to do something to maybe make this whole situation less real.
I don't even wanna take showers or go to the bathroom cause it reminds me of everything. I don't wanna walk around the house cause it just burns my soul.
I can see dad is worried.
I can see my friend's concerned looks.
I can see everyone.
They're not idiots! I don't eat. I don't laugh. I look like I haven't slept in a month.
I feel guilty that I put them through this.
I sometimes think about ending it all. Ending this pain that I'm causing others. Am I overdramatic? I don't know. I just know I've been through shit and I can't help feeling miserable.
Diary a few days ago I cut my wrists cause my thighs were covered in old and new scars.
The day after I pulled my sleeves up during chem cause it got in my way.
Sky saw them.
She called me a attention whore. I didn't want her to see. I didn't want anyone to see. It was the first time on my wrists and I genuinely forgot it was there.
She told Amora. She told her group of friends. Alot of people know now.
I'm so tired. I never asked for anything like this.
I didn't decide to fall for the wrong person.
I didn't decide to be raped.
I didn't decide for my parents to get divorced.
I didn't decide to he beaten up.
I didn't decide to have this godawful urge to hurt myself.
I never wanted this.
What I want now is to die. To just end my existence.
YOU ARE READING
Dear Diary, // L.S
General Fiction[𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒑𝒍𝒆𝒕𝒆𝒅] "Goodbyes hurt when the story is not finished and the book has been closed forever." No one listens to him so he pours his heart out in a diary. ~ short-ish story !!!Trigger warnings in the prologue!!!
