Dear Diary,
The last time I self harmed I ended up in the hospital. Yes I haven't done it since. I don't really know what came over me but I didn't.
I did some other things to cope with the pain but nothing that leaves any mark or scar on me.
I've purged here and there but it doesn't help anymore and when nothing changes, it turns to emotional and physical torture.
So here I am at 20 years of age feeling drained.
I'm starting to think that I'll never enjoy life. I might be happy for a week or two but I can't have it all.
Sometimes I get tired. I guess anyone in my place would. Sometimes I hate myself for being like this. Sometimes I just wanna wake up and smile and be energetic and workout and everything but usually I just get up half an hour before I have to go to work, have a cup of coffee and curse at the whole universe.
I like working with kids. Not all of them obviously. There's this really cute boy named Jack who's literally one of my best friends now. He has soft blonde hair and this big brown puppy eyes that makes me wanna cry. I was talking to his mom the other day and she said that Jack has told her multiple times that he's in love with me. That's so cute that I just wanna swallow him up.
He reminds me of Lisa sometimes. I haven't seen her in a long time. She's 14 now which freaks me out a bit. I hope she grows up to have a good life.
I'm jumping from one topic to another aren't I?
You know talking about self harm really makes me want to do it again but I'm staying strong.
Because even though he isn't here and even though we haven't talked in months I still promised him something.
YOU ARE READING
Dear Diary, // L.S
General Fiction[𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒑𝒍𝒆𝒕𝒆𝒅] "Goodbyes hurt when the story is not finished and the book has been closed forever." No one listens to him so he pours his heart out in a diary. ~ short-ish story !!!Trigger warnings in the prologue!!!
