Dear Diary, // L.S

32.Dear Realization,

Dear Diary,
I don't know what day of the week it is.
I just know that school's opening in a week or so. What a fun summer huh? Full of me drowning if self pity and leaving the house maybe three times.

I went out with both Harry and Ned and once with dad and Fiona.

With Ned we went to the movies. With dad we went shopping. I appreciated both of them really. They all wanted the best.

But Harry just took me to the same damn picnic and I just loved it. I don't know what it is about that place. It's so funny because I first came here with Ned but now it doesn't even seem right without Harry beside me.

/
-I didn't like you when I first met you.

+why?

-First of all you didn't introduce yourself which is weird because I now know you're super polite!

+I probably wasn't feeling my best.

-Second you told me out of nowhere that I looked sad!

+Well you did.

-But I was feeling good that day!

+I could see that you weren't happy overall despite your happiness that day. I'm sorry if I ruined your mood but I thought it was obvious.

-But no one knew.

+Well then you were hanging out with the wrong people.

-Ned?

+You talked to him so I think he didn't have to even look at you to know.

-Fine I give up.

+You have this look of worry in your eyes. You keep moving them around you like you're waiting for something bad. You pick at your thumb with your pointer. You show it without even wanting to show it.

-The day before... It happened... someone that I considered a friend saw something and called me a freak and an attention whore. She didn't care how I'll feel or-

+What did she see?

-Nothing important Harry.

+Tell me.

-Please let it go.

+I just wanna-

-I know what you want to do. I just... I can't right now.

+Ok.

-Thanks.
/

I begged him to not have dinner. He made a deal of 1/3 of a sandwich and one scoop of icecream. I thought it was better that way.

I heard him speak Spanish for the first time. I loved every second of it. It was really pleasant. I like other languages so much but I never got to learn them. I do know how to say hello and thank you in Russian but that's all.

I made him promise to teach me. He's already a teacher so I don't think it'll be hard for him or anything.

Diary Harry is my second favorite person right now. And feel like I'm betraying Ned but I can't help it. He's just so good in a way that I can't explain. He makes me feel valued and less like a fuck up.

I hope he sticks around in the future cause the image makes me feel happy. Wow did I use that adjective?

Eh I said what I said.