~Please, Say You Won't Let Go~ Clouis

Chapter Thirteen: Phase (Louis' POV)

(This chapter is going to start as sort of like Louis is journaling or writing down/documenting his thoughts)

Clementine wants me to start talking to her. Well, not talking but... communicating to her about anything that bothers me. I said I would because, shes honestly right. If we're going to be 'something,' then we need to know each other. She also said that we should go through our troubles together instead of alone. She's right about that too. I always trust Clem. She's always right about things and she knows how to survive with nothing but the clothes on her back. Any way possible, she finds a way to make it work. No matter how hard it is, she finds a way to keep going. I admire her for that. Even if I was dead, she would get through it. Shes strong. I'm not. I need someone who can be strong for me until I learn how to be. Losing my tounge brought alot of pain and I cant just joke about things anymore to make it hurt less. I can't sing. I can't talk. I feel useless even though Clementine insists that I'm so much more than what I think I am. I just hope she's right.

...

The sun was starting to set, smearing pinks and oranges across the light blue sky with clouds muffling the brights colors in certain spots.

Clem and I walked out to dinner as I stared up emotionless at the sky.

"Whatcha doin' there Lou?" She asked softly, wrapping her arms around mine.

I pointed up aimlessly at the sky, letting the soft hues scan my chocolate colored eyes. Clem started to gently yank my arm and I followed as we made our way over to the picnic tables where I saw Violet, Ruby, and Omar at one, Aj and Willy at another and Aasim by himself.

We grabbed our food and sat at the table with Violet.

"Hey Vi." Clem said happily as we both sat down.

"Hey." She said back.

"So what's up?" I signed. Everyone at the table looked at Clem for a translation because they all mostly gave up with the book.

"He asked what's up." Clem confirmed.

"Well, Aasim is sitting alone. We are putting him under this sort of grounding thing. He shouldnt be doing what he is. I think Lilly and the boat fucked him up a certain way so now hes an asshole. He just has to learn better." Ruby said in her cute country accent that Clem found adorable.

"And what happened to Charlie and James?" I asked, followed by the translation from Clementine.

"What happened to James and Charlie?"

"Oh yeah, they took off. They said to thank you and Louis for your troubles and they didnt want to stay for dinner. So, my guess is that they're together happily ever after." Vi remarked, "wish I could be like that. Happy I mean. I miss Minerva everyday of my life. The old Minnie. Not the murderer or bitch we saw on the boat. The sweet, kind one who was afraid of killing walkers and loved me with all her heart. I wish that never wouldve went away. She was the last person I'd guess to be..."

"I'm sorry Vi I didn't-" Clem apologized before being cut off.

"Dont be sorry. I hate that. You shouldn't be sorry for things you couldn't possibly control. A year ago you were God knows where, not giving my girlfriend away. I just wish things could have been different for her. It wasnt fair. The way any of them went. They were good people Clem. Aj was right to shoot Tenn but it was still sad. Tenn was a good person. He loved his sisters like they loved him. They were a stable family. Then fuckface ruined it all." She said and got up from the table, then going back to her dorm.

"This," I signed and motioned to my mouth, "is not your fault at all. Vi got Lilly off of you and I'm glad you saved her instead. My jokes didnt make anything better. It was Marlons fault. They stayed hoping they could get all of us."

"Louis..." she said, placing a hand on my cheek, "talk to me after dinner please. I wanna talk to you about this alone."

I nodded as I rapidly finished my same old boring rabbit stew and she did the same.

...

We rushed to our room after we finished the dishes.

"Let's talk through everything. I need to understand what you're going through. Maybe I'll be able to help you." She said as we sat on our bed together.

"Theres nothing to talk about. I had my moments. Ran away, cried myself to sleep, pulled all nighters. Theres nothing more to talk about." I signed.

"Yes there are." She demanded, lifting my shirt off of my body, "this."

"No. I'm fine." I begged.

"No you're not Louis!" She sternly said, examining the long cut along my stomach.

"I'll never do it again. Promise." I signed.

"Still not buying. Talk to me. Please Louis. You know I'm here." She begged. I looked at my hands which were fiddling with each other.

"I promise." I signed, looking into her eyes and then placing my hand on her shoulder.

"Fine. But, if you have any problems. Ever. I'm here and you better come to me first. I want to be your support if you need it Louis. I dont want you to be sad anymore. I want my old Louis back." She explained and kissed me quickly.

I leaned into the kiss when she was about to pull away but I pulled her back in.

"I will. I wont talk to anyone before you. I'm still your good old Louis, I promise Clem." I signed.

"Okay." She said as she lay down on her bed. "Get some sleep Lou. You really really need it."

And with that, I lay down next to her and we both fell asleep. I could finally rest. Well... at least for a second.