Chilly

17. Please Hold On Tight

Jennie's P.O.V.

Numb. Anxious. Terrified. It's what I've felt the whole flight, and it just gnaws at me little by little. I'm beside Chaeng, but she's asleep, so I can't even talk to her to calm my thoughts just a little bit.

There hasn't been anything released by Dispatch or any tabloids, so it's kind of a relief. I don't know if Jongin's side will take any action, and that's what worries me the most. He might find a way to get me back for doing this to him. I need to talk to him, and soon. I won't be able to relax until I know that everything will be okay.

Jongin knows about Lisa and I. Of what happened between us. While I was still together with him. I'm the biggest asshole in the world. He didn't take the news very well. I couldn't lie anymore. I couldn't do it to him. I've treated him so poorly all this time, so I figured he deserved the truth this one time. He left right after I told him, and that's when I called Chaeyoung.

It's not that I blame him. I cheated on him, for God's sake. And not only once. I didn't stop myself, or Lisa. I really hate myself for hurting him. Because of my selfishness, I've hurt Jongin and Lisa in the process. Two people who stayed beside me when the worst happened.

Lisa took it way better than he did. I could tell she was wondering why the hell I told him, but she didn't say anything. She simply nodded, and we started getting ready to leave for the airport.

The tension has really affected us as a group. There's this unspoken agreement that we shouldn't talk about it as much as possible, and I agree. I feel guilty for worrying my friends with useless problems that shouldn't even have anything to do with them.

But once those news come out, we're all dead. Not only will it affect me, but everyone else I hold dearly to me. It was all my fault to begin with. I shouldn't have dated Jongin. It was such a huge mistake. He deserves so much better, and because of that, I have to pay the price.

They're tired of me. Hell, I'm even tired of myself. Of my bullshit. Once this tour is over, I really need to take the longest vacation of my life. I really need to clear my head somewhere that people won't recognize me.

My head's been a mess for so long that I just really miss the feeling of being at peace. I can't go anywhere without people looking at me like I'm pathetic, like I'm someone who needs help.

"Jen, we're landing," Chaeng says softly, resting her hand on my shoulder to catch my attention. I didn't realize I was spacing out. I turn to her, and she gives me a small smile. "We should be getting ready."

I nod, and fix my things. We wait, and minutes later we've landed. Our manager tells us to wait for everyone to exit the plane before we do, so that it won't be too crowded.

We exit the plane, and there are bodyguards waiting for us at the exit. There are also hundreds of our fans behind some barriers, screaming at the sight of us. Luckily, I'm wearing sunglasses and a mask so they won't be able to see how horrible I look.

I hook my arm around Chaeyeong, and she squeezes it reassuringly. Our manager trails behind us, pushing the cart full of our luggage.

The automatic door opens, and the screams intensify a thousandfold. There are countless cameras pointed at all of us, and I wave at the fans. The flashes of the camera kind of make my eyes hurt, but I keep walking.

Some have their arms extended out towards us, holding gifts and food. I see Jisoo unnie in the corner of my eye taking some, thanking them and making small talk with them.

There are dozens who yell my name, trying to catch my attention, and I try my best to locate them. It's overwhelming, but you just kind of get used to it. The bodyguards gently push away those who try to climb the barrier.