In love with the badboy

Chapter 37 ~ Tonight

AN: Here is the second chapter in two days! I am just so excited that this story is running towards an ending. I really want to hear what you guys are thinking about it! Please let me know in a comment. This chapter might be a bit on the short side, but it's more as an introduction for the next two chapters! 

Again, this is not edited yet. So excuse me for any mistakes.

Chapter 37:

After that little chat with Dumbledore, Harry and I thought it best if we went to his room to talk about it. We didn’t say anything on our way to his room out of fear that someone might be eavesdropping. I felt nervous and I couldn’t believe this. I was supposed to kill Voldemort? I don’t even kill flies. I felt sad. I wish that I could talk to D-Malfoy to get rid of these bad feelings. But he was the one who put most of them there. Talking to him wasn’t really an option anymore. Just thinking about him made me want to curl up in a little ball and pretend that I didn’t exist. I just couldn’t believe that I could have been so wrong about him. I thought that I was smarter than that.

“The hardest part is that we can’t even tell Ron or Hermione” Harry disturbed my thoughts once we sat down on his bed.

“I know” I mumbled. “Nothing really changes though. We go on with the plan as we discussed it. You’re the leader, I’m not ready at all to lead this mission. You know more about these horecruxes anyway. And besides, Ron and Hermione would feel weird if I started taking over everything.” He nodded, so I went on. “We do everything as planned. Only in the very end, I step in to kill him.” I sighed. It sounded ridiculous.

“That is, if we even make it until the very end” Harry said gloomily.

We had so much to talk about that I slept over in the Gryffindor dorm. Harry and I stayed up for most of the night anyway to discuss everything about what we were going to do and about the trip that we would accompany Dumbledore on in just two days.

The last thoughts on my mind before I drifted off to sleep, were Malfoy’s fine eyes and the way he had looked at me every time before he kissed me. I was such a fool for not seeing this coming. I couldn’t help myself but to wonder what he would say if he knew that I was the one that had to kill Voldemort in the end. He probably wouldn’t care, he made that clear enough.

I woke up only a few hours later, feeling wide awake. Tomorrow would be the day that we were going away. The day that we would hopefully find a horecrux. I sat up straight and looked at Harry who was still sleeping. I quickly left his room to go to my own. Everyone was still asleep so I decided to take a long and relaxing shower before breakfast. I could only think about Malfoy’s words to me. About seeing that dark mark on his arm. About hearing how he had never loved me, not even a bit. I felt so betrayed.

I saw him at breakfast. Luna and I were eating in silence. I told her about me Harry having to go away. Not about anything else though. I could only talk to Harry about that. I looked over towards the slytherin table to see Malfoy sitting next to Blaise and Pansy. None of them looked really happy. For a split second he looked into my eyes, with an expression that I couldn’t make out. I looked away quickly. I didn’t want him to think that I was just a weak girl that he could mess with.

Classes passed very slowly. I was thinking all the time about how I had better things to do than to listen to professors who were giving advise for exams that we would never take anyway. The only thing that I was glad about was that Malfoy didn’t show up in class. The day went by in a blur really. Michael Corner came over to talk to me and I was nice to him. That was the only really eventful thing really.

After supper I didn’t go to the tutoring. I figured that Malfoy wouldn’t be there anyway. Instead, we all hung out together. Probably for the last time. Luna, the golden trio, Neville, Ginny and me. You could sense some tension in the air but we were all trying to be as carefree as possible and have a laugh.

Suddenly I saw Blaise approaching with a sad look on his face. He yanked my arm and pulled me up. He engulfed me in a big bear hug. “I am sorry Alice” he whispered in ear. Then he disappeared.

Seeing Blaise just made me think about Malfoy even more. And when I laid down in my bed all I could think about was him. I thought about many things. I smiled when I recalled all the pranks we had pulled on one another. I closed my eyes as I thought about the first time he kissed me in the astronomy tower. I sighed when I thought about how he had saved me from a drunk Crabbe and how he had taken care of me. I thought about the Christmas holiday that I had spent at his house. I thought about the swimming together, and the restaurant, and the snowball fight. Putting all those things together made me see how I had gradually grown to care about him, without even realizing it myself.

I slept late that following day, to make sure that I was wellrested. I made myself ready slowly, together with Luna. We talked while I put on comfortable clothes and put my hair in a ponytail. I packed many of my clothes and belongings in my trunk.

“Why are you packing?” Luna asked, alarmed. “The year isn’t over yet.”

“I honestly don’t know. I just feel better this way. I feel like something bad is about to happen” I told her. “But maybe that are just the nerves for tonight kicking in.”

Unlike Harry, I had zero ideas to what to expect. I had never done something adventurous or dangerous in my life. And all the events that have happened recently only added more stress. We didn’t have classes that day, so I spent it with Luna. Way too soon it was time to go down to supper. I felt like I couldn’t swallow. I felt like throwing up. But I knew that I had to eat properly. I allowed myself to sneak a glance towards the slytherin table but Malfoy wasn’t there. Strange.

After supper I walked towards Dumbledore’s office on my own. He told us to meet him there before we would leave. I heard someone panting and running towards me. I turned around to see that it was Malfoy. “Wait up!” he shouted at me. At first I doubted but I decided to stop and to hear him out. I looked at him. He looked exhausted and he was carrying the felix felicis bottle that we had won in potions some months ago. He seemed to be in panick. Even more than I was.

“Why did you bring the flask?” I asked him dryly, not allowing any emotion to slip through. I wouldn’t give him the pleasure of seeing how defeated I really felt.

He composed himself. “You need to drink it, right now! And give some to Harry if you really want to.”

I knitted my eyebrows together in a frown. He never called Harry by his first name. And why would he want me to have it, if he could drink it himself. “You can keep it” I told him and turned around to walk away again.

He stopped me by tugging at my arm. I quickly yanked it loose. How could I keep strong if he touched me? “You really need to take it Alice. Tonight!”

I was feeling uneasy. I had never seen  him act like this. “What’s happening tonight?”

“Everything bad.”