"Above all, don't lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love"
Fyodor said above many years ago and even described me. Now I am walking with all sorrows and thinking my hands in pockets. I could not imagine myself with you, as if I am cursed by my own doubts. You are so right to hate them. I confide you and might promise in the long term that I believe I will be with you. I was enough far from what is the meaning of tears of happiness. Yesterday I was faced with them. They flipped through all the pages then smiled at me. Even they tried to say I am on the right way. I want to be sure absolutely and sail away on your board. Then open my book and write something about you. I hate the distance. I love you so much. I feel you each page of my life. Being sure that I will see you on the next page makes me one of the happiest people. Now I wish I have met with you a long time ago. Staying away from this kind of feeling made me so timid. Now I don't want to write so much rather live. Keep in my darling.
