I couldn't believe it! Never in my wildest dreams did I think I'd be in the car with Declan. I felt that familiar feeling in my stomach...gas was coming. Oh, why do I have to have nervous gas?! I tried to ignore it as declan buckled himself into the seat next to mine.
"Emily, right? I'm Declan, thanks for coming along!"
The bubbling in my stomach grew worse.
"Yeah, nice to finally meet you! I'm really excited to hear the new songs!" I said sheepily. I couldn't let him know what was brewing in my intestines.
The first song started playing and my heart was racing. The pressure was too much, I had to let out a little fart. The air conditioning was on, there's no way anyone would smell it. Suddenly, Declan made a sour face.
"Would it be alright if we opened up a window?" he asked. I nodded nervously.
"Wow I'm really loving this track!" I exclaimed.
Suddenly, it happened. My flatulence turned solid. I panicked and tried to change the subject but the smell starts to permeate the air. Declan audibly gags. "Oh my days.." he says as he covers his mouth with his shirt, almost passing out from the stench.
"no wait" declan pauses. "roll the window up"
"wh-what?" i ask. i'm so confused.
"lets have a fart party hotbox. we all rip whatevers in us and bask in our own stench"
"im down." the driver nods.
declan bites his lip and looks at me cheekily.
how did i get here...
•••
As declans window slowly rises with a consistent squeak, i maintain eye contact. the window finally seals shut and i giggle, while letting out the loudest, wettest butt bubbles ive ever heard. i start to laugh but declan stares at me intensely.
"are you okay?" i exclaim,
"yes it's just- my friend daniel used to fart like that...." declan trails off, staring out the window with tears in his eyes. i cant tell if they're from the poison gas i just let escape my bowels or the memories him and this daniel person must've shared.
"maybe we shouldn't do the hot box" declan says while looking at the floor, ashamed.
"i can't believe you declan! WHYD YOU KEEP CHANGING YOUR MIND?" i begin to shout, i'm suddenly filled with anger through my body just as i was with gas.
"YOU BETTER BELIEVE!!!" declan howls, tears streaming down his face, "i cant do this right now emily!"
and with that he released my scent into the world by flinging the door open and leaving me stranded in the car, alone.
YOU ARE READING
A Farting Fantasy - Declan McKenna
FanfictionLife is mundane for 18-year-old Emily Vanita who was born and raised in a small town just outside of London, until one day when she gets a call from BBC Radio 1 that gives her the opportunity of a lifetime...
