Back at Alex's apartment complex, Emily, McBeardy, And Chicken stood in a group hug around Alex.
"I'll take care of him" McBeardy assured Emily and Chicken wif shoes. McBeardy dealt with the coroner on the phone and called Alex's mom(mum for britsh ppl) to come stay with him.
"What da hale we gonna do now😐" Chick wif Shoes asked Emily.
"Go where the bad music guides you (guides you... guides you... guides you...)" The voice of the deceased King Harold replayed in Emily's head.
"That's it!" Exclaimed Emily.
"Come with me" She instructed the Chicken.
...
When they went outside, faint strumming could be heard from a distance.
"Do you hear that???" Emily asked Chicken wif Shoes.
"It sounds like it's coming from that Tesco!!!!" Yelled the Chicken.
As they walked closer, they began to hear:
🎶When I was 6 years old I broke my leg🎶
As soon as they heard the first lyric, Emily and Chicken wif Shoes sprinted towards the Tesco, the music growing louder.
🎶IM ON MY WAY DRIVING AT 90 DOWN THOSE COUNTRY LANES🎶
*BANG BANG BANG*
"EVERYBODY GET DOWN!!!" Chicken wif Shoes shouted after taking a beretta from out of his shoe and shooting up Tesco.
"I'M GONNA ASK ONCE AND ONLY ONCE, WHERE IS TARA RICHARDSON AND OFFICER PLAMEN???" Chicken wif Shoes threatened the terrified trembling customers and employees lying on the floor of Tesco.
"IN THAT ROOM OVER THERE" Shouted a boy while pointing to a door in the back of the store. That boy was NaeNaeThePainAway.
"Thank you." Chicken wif Shoes nodded.
*BANG*
He killed NaeNaeThePainAway.
Emily and the Chicken busted down the door and there they stood, Tara Richardson, Officer Plamen, Declan and Lee Lee in a bottle. Declan and Lee Lee were tied up with Officer Davey's cumsocks shoved in their mouths.
"Well well well...." Smirked Tara.
"If it isn't Emily and Chicken wif-"
*BANG BANG*
Chicken wif shoes kills Tara and Officer Plamen before Tara even finished her sentence.
"Let's get out of here" Sighed Emily.
Emily untied Declan and Lee Lee in a bottle while Chicken wif Shoes dragged Tara and Plamen by their feet(band) to the frozen food section and stuffed them in the freezer next to the Linda McCartney(too, food so tasty don't forget to chew) sausages.
*Brrp Brrp* Emily's phone rang.
- "Hello? George? What's up?"
- "I'm engaged."
YOU ARE READING
A Farting Fantasy - Declan McKenna
FanfictionLife is mundane for 18-year-old Emily Vanita who was born and raised in a small town just outside of London, until one day when she gets a call from BBC Radio 1 that gives her the opportunity of a lifetime...
