SHARING THE CREDIT ✓

SEIS

6 // FOR THE PUBLIC VIEW = PARA LA VISTA PÚBLICA

Farah never listens to what's right for her.

after signs, cautions and sayings, she finds herself steering to what she personally wants rather than what she needs. her impulsivity plays a huge part in her stubbornness.

even if she's experienced the same situation again, there's a hankering inside of her that bubbles. the experience may teach her life lessons but it bubbles so much that it overflows and she can't help but want what she knows she can get in this limited life. when it's a person, it's even harder.

in terms of Taehyung, there were many things that told her she didn't have to stay but she needed him. she needed him like food and water, he was in her pyramid of survival needs. wanting him and needing him were two very different things. at times, he may not have been good for Farah but most of the time, he was and if he made her happy then she wasn't going to let such perfection get away. they were happy.

they would've still been happy.

Farah realises this when she talks to her brother on the phone. this time, her butt is on the empty bench and she forced herself not to smoke another cigarette. as she thinks of her and Taehyung's delighted moments, she can't think of anything else. there's no pain in the reminiscing. there's just forehead kisses, hand holding, honest i love you's and how was your day's and competing to see who can make the other laugh the most.

but when she looks at him, the way she did today unexpectedly, she remembers him leaving and the way he said unspoken, mute goodbyes like it was second nature to him. the way he left spoke truth's she had covered with a veil of adoration.

like she mentioned, a worship of love.

"i'm not sitting with him." Farah states. the image of her sitting beside Taehyung throughout the entire ceremony makes her more anxious than ever. what would they do? say?

"oh hi Taehyung, yes i gave in and now i'm going to sit next to you and your pretty ass. once again, you have proven that you are the rightful captive of my heart. will i ever get it back?"

"thank you Farah, i'm so glad you could join. so what are we going to say when we accept the award? that you hate me and i love-"

"you have to!" Jin shouts back at his sister. he needs to speak some sense into her, it's his job as an older brother. "it's going to be so awkward when you both get up from separate places." he doesn't want her to regret her actions. although Farah's strong minded, validation from close people matters to her. they sometimes alter her decisions, so he wants what's right for her, hoping she can see his opinion.

"i told you. we're not going to win." Farah hasn't even thought about what she would say if they did win. who would she thank? would she say anything? would she let Taehyung? if they didn't win, it'd be easier to deal with. she'd just smile and be respectful.

"i'm watching from home, we'll see what happens." Jin wants to see if he'll be able to spot his sister on the television. he already knows he's going to scream when the duo win expectedly. him and his mother will scream even if they see a glimpse of her in the audience. they just can't wait.

"it's being streamed? live? shit-"

"is he still fine-" Jin starts to ask.

Farah is about to tell Jin not to finish his sentence until a man who works for the award ceremony approaches her. he grabs her attention by patting her shoulder, eyebrows raising as he politely speaks. "ma'am, the show is about to start." he informs her, pointing towards the entrance.

"alright. let me finish my cigarette." she gave in.

just when Farah raises her phone to her ear, Jin declares one sentence in a tone she can't fight against. "you're sitting with him." and he hangs up.

Farah sighs. she has five minutes to think about whether or not she should sit with Taehyung. she starts to walk, steps slow as she chews on the inside of her mouth. does Taehyung really want her to sit with him? or is he just saying that to be polite? what is the best option? Jin thinks sitting with her ex is the right option but what does she think?

Farah has always been pretty certain with her thinking patterns. her decisions are always reflected upon, wanting herself to do what's right and to acknowledge the wrong. consequences play a part. for example, having a career in writing was her dream so she didn't give up. she just knew she wanted to help people, through whatever career path she decided to take. another example is being with Taehyung. she constantly considered the feelings he aroused, when she was happy, she was truly happy. when she was sad, she tried to figure out why. when she was disappointed, she knew why. she doesn't regret him.

so in this unexpected situation, where her elegance to the world and reassurance to her being has to show, she's going to do what's right for herself and her growth. thus, she comes to the final conclusion of where to sit as she arrives hesitantly inside the hall where the awards will be received.

the lights are already dim when Farah walks inside. there are no allocated places, she remembers that from the letter that withheld relevant information. a part of her wishes there was, but if there was, she'd most likely be allocated to sit next to Taehyung.

Farah holds onto her box of cigarettes to give her a sense of consolation. the cardboard texture scratches against the length of her fingers. it lessens the anxiety but the rate is so high that she simply stands, observing the audience and the choices to sit. it's just today. she can do today.

the fact that Farah spots suited, calm and beady eyed Taehyung immediately makes her feel more offbeat than usual. out of all the people in the room, her eyes landed on his. why does he make her feel such things? the same butterflies are there and boisterous. no one, in her life has ever made her feel the way Kim Taehyung makes her feel and it's alarming, confusing and utterly terrifying.

Farah notices how his eyes immediately land on hers. even from a distance, him sat and her stood, she feels as if he's grazing her with his eye contact graciously. touches of soft wrist holds, pulling her closer. he watches her behind soulful, bronze eyes with a blank expression. his lips stay pursued, his back still leaning as their eyes meet.

Farah almost smirks because she can read Taehyung easily in this moment. this moment that makes her feel like there's no one else present. she notices how his blinking eyes don't move away, not even a single glance at anyone else who passes her. his eyes stay solely targeted on her eyes and it's the best kind of intimacy. he doesn't make the effort to call her over, knowing she'll come only if she wants to. he knows he's already given her the offer. Taehyung wants to see what Farah decides to do.

Farah notices the empty seat beside him on his decorated table. on his other side, his quiet grandma sits. he brought her to an important event and it's sweet.

Farah starts to walk to the seat she's decided to sit at for the rest of the evening. with Taehyung's eyes on her, she feels more nervous. he's always had a habit of staring at her, making her feel like she has all of his attention. she probably does but when she knows he's watching, she'll stumble.

Farah takes her seat on the empty chair beside Taehyung. "don't say a word." she says sternly, hoping her decision doesn't come back to bite her in the ass. she can't believe she's sitting next to him, her hands are shaking.

Taehyung smiles, finally prying his eyes off of her.

//

won't be getting a lot of jin and mom interactions. it's mainly taehyung content from now :")