SHARING THE CREDIT ✓

NUEVE

9 // FIGHTING TEMPTATION = COMBATIR LA TENTACIÓN

Farah sighs as she runs her hands down her face slowly.

the female writer stands in front of her marble hotel sink, small mirror gazing back at her as the sounds of night life reiterate through her ears. it's different from what she's used to, no silence. Farah can hear Spanish music from nightclubs, some songs she even dances to alone, the chatter of people enjoying their evenings turning into nights, the sound of footsteps as people enter and leave the hotel and for once, she can't hear her overthinking thoughts.

as she washes her face, she feels every one of her regular facial features, hands collapsing as they move sluggishly. sliding down her forehead, feeling her eyebrows and pressing against her throbbing eyelids as she curves her hands to meet at her neck. she's sleep deprived yet awake. the water splashes and she moves away, staring at her reflection.

she gives herself a smile.

Farah slides her tongue over her front teeth as she closes the bathroom door. she's changed out of her formal attire and is in warmer clothes. she moves around her expansive hotel room, enjoying the freedom that welcomes her. she almost hugs herself. when she looks at the small, folksy balcony as part of her stay, she, for a few seconds, imagines what it must feel like to live in an apartment by herself in serenity.

she pushes the doors and steps onto the balcony. a cigarette is lit before she knows it and she scoffs at what her lungs must be experiencing just from today. what Farah experienced today went better than she expected. it was a roller-coaster of emotions and now she's finally able to stand back on earth with some sort of control. control is a thing we think we have but don't.

seeing the red carpet, feeling isolated, the bathroom, calling Jin, questioning whether or not to sit next to Taehyung, them winning, his straight forward grandma, his forehead kiss, the reporters, him saying he's a good person and them smiling as they said goodbye.

it was overwhelming.

as Farah recollects today's events on the balcony, the ambience of Spain keeps her company. the truth is, she doesn't know how to feel even now. the events are at a distance yet, her mind is still processing.

even events from years ago are still being processed.

Taehyung pushes past Farah, hands spilling with some of his items such as his baggy jacket and earphones. he struggles to pick them up, falling to his knees as he tries to avoid Farah's gaze. he'll break even further. he hates that he has to do this. "no, don't come closer. i told you, you deserve better. you always have, why are you being so difficult?" he mutters under his breath.

he knows why she's being difficult. he's the reason for the stirring of such tricky emotions. anger, tracks of hostility and pure sorrow. his heart aches. the fact that Farah's fighting back fiercely, tearfully says more about their long term love than anything else. Taehyung has to deal with things on his own, he doesn't want to drag her down. all he's ever wanted to do was protect someone who didn't need to be protected.

Farah sighs and pushes her hands through her hair. her entire appearance as well as her emotions are messy now. Taehyung is stepping on her heart and he knows it. "don't you love me anymore?" she questions.

she knows he does but he won't say it.

in that moment, all Taehyung wants to do is apologise for even making her think that way. who put that crazy thought in her head? oh yeah, me. he wants to hold her hand, stroke the back of it gently and kiss the fuck out of her but he sees this as the only option. break both hearts because she won't break his. he can't keep hurting her.