SHARING THE CREDIT ✓

CATORCE

14 // HOW WE MET = CÓMO NOS CONOCIMOS

Farah has always been drawn to things that aren't good for her.

things that aren't good for her include items, relationships, decisions and most importantly, people. for example, a relationship with no future isn't good for an individual who finds it hard to live in the present.

in terms of people. knotty humans have their way of coming into others lives with pious intentions yet something always manages to go wrong. that's the way life works and it could be argued that humans never have any free will. challenges occur and decisions have to be made. in terms of people being good for you, it's you who makes the decision to do what's right for yourself.

so do we have free will?

Farah wonders if she would've made the decision to let go of Taehyung if he hadn't left. would she have taken that step and left him before he left her?

she doesn't know.

Taehyung is someone who's terribly good but bad for her and she can't help but want to spend her remaining days in Spain with his delight.

we never listen with our heads. our heart overpowers all.

Taehyung chose his head and she wishes she had that strength. but her heart is not a weakness and she knows that.

what determines if things aren't good for her, Farah thinks, what if she was the one not good enough for them?

the next evening, rile still perches in her chest like it's meant to be there. she doesn't know why she feels so tense as she monitors Taehyung, hand pressing against her heart. she feels it's rapid beat of terror.

the whole day has passed without them seeing each other and now Farah spots her ex boyfriend, talking to other guests at the dinner tables. they're people he doesn't know or people he may know. nevertheless, he fits in like a professional as he articulates. she wonders how many foreign places have witnessed his charm and spirit.

Farah suddenly isn't in the mood to eat so she walks away.

once again, the same, handsome figure follows closely behind and shouts her name. deja vu. she should've known Taehyung would come after her. how did he even see her? why does she always get caught?

he's always aware of you.

you're more important to him than you think.

apparently not that important since he left me.

isn't he mad at her? why is he approaching her? Farah remembers the boy not being one to hold grudges. he forgets things the next day and dotes on sewing patches over places he wants to fix speedily.

"hey!" Taehyung calls out and Farah turns around blankly.

Farah stands still, opposite Taehyung as her eyes graze over his appearance. he does the same and she doesn't realise. he's dressed formally- turtleneck for the cool, night breeze and jeans. "i thought you were mad at me." she points out. she keeps a safe distance between the two as her hands push into the pockets of her blazer. she appears calm and self-assured as she waits.

"no i wasn't." Taehyung replies. "how are you?"

Farah hates how her heart swells at the fact that he cares about her and how she's been doing since they last spoke. the virtuous, positive thoughts about Taehyung always get contradicted by bad, negative realisations. she remembers how they went years after not speaking to each other, how he claimed he could never live without her due to its impossibility but he left and proved them both wrong.