SHARING THE CREDIT ✓

TRECE

13 // ANGER = IRA

Farah is a professional at doubting.

her doubts doubled when she came back to her hotel room with a headache. before she knew it, her doubts were crumbling, one by one and compelling her to look at them. all plans of visiting a cafe were thrown away. she made up the excuse of being tired because she hadn't slept in days. Taehyung nodded and let her go to have a nap.

the truth is, she had begun doubting about everything. the stress. her mind likes to overthink and unintentionally, she was wondering what the hell she was doing coming back from the airport with her ex boyfriend. why did she agree to spending more time with him? what was she thinking?

what a stupid idea.

"i don't even know what i'm doing." Farah mutters when she enters her room, throwing her phone onto the bed as she relishes in being alone. she can finally cogitate and try to understand everything that's going on. she needs to just breathe, slow down.

the ambience of her room feels different from when she left it this morning. it's obvious there was more than one person previously here. the grey skies have now faded to reveal peak, golden sunshine behind frayed clouds. she was so certain, a few hours ago, that she'd never have to see her ex lover, Taehyung again and here she is... spending the rest of her 'holiday' with him.

although Farah loves being alone, the luxury of another made her heart grow flowers that demanded watering. she realises she hasn't been alone with Taehyung in so long. alone with his words, his laughter and his enchant. she missed it and she feels convicted.

Farah bites the inside of her mouth anxiously. so much has happened in such a short amount of time that she hasn't been able to process anything. she doesn't want to think but she knows she needs to.

her stumbling hands grab her phone from her bed, seeking comfort from someone she knows will talk some sense into her. "i'm freaking out." she calls Jin, her brother and best friend. he picks up on the second ring.

"it'll be fine." Jin's unruffled tone ushers through, stretching his words as he always does. Farah wonders how things would've been different if she stayed at home. she'd have carried on with work, had family meals and watched Netflix. she's glad she didn't stay but the misgivings seem to think otherwise, what if you didn't see him again?

"i'm overthinking."

"i can tell." Jin seems to be busy doing something else as noise is heard in the background. he mentions that he's doing the laundry. Farah is glad she doesn't have chores to do (for a limited time). "i think it's a good thing." he gives his opinion about her staying in Spain for a few more days. he sees the positive outlook of her gaining worth, inspiration and more exploration to fulfill the desire of gorgeous Spain.

"you always say the opposite to me..."

"closure is important to you, so you might get it." Jin's right. he says whatever comes to mind but it helps Farah. closure is significant to the writer, she believes it helps her to move on with her life. closing certain chapters may be difficult but it's made easier with closure, especially from people. unfortunately, the world doesn't work the way we want it to. closure isn't easy to obtain, Farah knows that. after four years, the possibility of getting closure from Taehyung may occur... but does she want to end their ongoing chapter?

"you need to relax." Jin says smoothly. it's easier said than done.

"i can't relax." Farah huffs. all she's thinking about is how she slept with Taehyung whilst sober. she can't believe it happened. "after we slept together, it's becoming more complicated." how do you move past that?