KIM TAEHYUNG
two writers, one day, decided to celebrate their love by writing a book. the book had captured their thoughtful and pleasing memories in words that the world grew to appreciate.
Taehyung and Farah knew the warnings written by love sick...
this morning, Farah hears the customary way of greeting from her ex boyfriend. he's going to run out of pet names, she thinks as she replies, "good morning." she leans forward, against her balcony and watches Taehyung walk backwards. his attention is on her as he announces he's going on his morning walk.
Taehyung doesn't find the morning walk refreshing. he doesn't get the satisfaction most people get from it. he finds walking past Farah's appealing balcony and seeing her face light up with an uncontrollable smile, refreshing. it gets him through the day. all he's ever wanted was to make her happy anyway.
then, he stops walking and tugs on his garment of clothing. it's a flannel, coloured in navy blue and dismal orange. it fits Farah's liking. "any memories?" the boy inquires.
one side of Farah's lips turn upwards as she nods. "of course i remember." she realises she's said those words a lot whilst being in Spain.
"you're an idiot." Farah looks at his flannel paired with jeans.
"no i'm not." Taehyung furrows his brows, still smiling. his playfulness and merriment is a nice view indeed. "i'm an imbecile. that's right, that's me!" their smiles reflect each other as it takes up their fatigued faces, brushed teeth showing and eyes squinting at the sunshine that appears. there's just a few days before they leave and Farah knows she's going to miss the Spanish weather.
"you brought this flannel around the time we first met." Farah remembers. the boy had literally gone into a store, picked up the nearest flannel and brought it. he came out and wore it immediately because he knew Farah's flannel fashion was important. he wanted to make her happy.
Farah decides to wear her flannel today too.
//
just like the night before, Farah and Taehyung lie beside each other on the hotel bed. this time their heads are next to each other as their bodies lie in faultless, parallel lines. despite the many occurrences where their bodies were perfectly aligned, their hearts, at times, were not.
at the beginning of this trip, they had made love on the same formatted bed and now at the end of their trip, they're filled with such sentiment that physical touch can't compare to the emotional intimacy of being in each other's presence as they stay mute.
the two are busy. they're staring at their presented award that sits on top of Taehyung's pile of folded clothes. Farah realises he's been getting ready to pack his belongings.
the award sits patiently and silently. not at all like the authors. although, in this moment, they seem in awe as their hands freeze. they stare at the golden plating, their misty names and remember when they won. it was spontaneous, unimaginable and even now, it doesn't seem to have hit them- just how beautiful it felt like.
Farah's feels a rush of emotion dart through her. it's fast and it makes her shiver. it's the feeling that can be compared to when they held their book for the first time.
then, she speaks, "i hate you, you know." i love lying to you.
"me too."
"did you know plants grow more when they listen to music?" Taehyung informs, bronze eyes still staring at the ceiling. a low chuckle leaves his lips. he's so random yet so familiar. this feeling. this characteristic. he used to tell Farah all sorts of amazing facts when he was still in her exciting life.
Farah rolls her eyes.
"the world isn't cruel." Taehyung speaks certainly. Farah shuts her eyes immediately. she remembers this conversation, she knows what he's going to say next. this is something prudent she remembers from the boy. "nor are our surroundings. it's our minds because it's always it that alters everything."
Farah leaves her eyes shut, afraid that when she opens them, she might erupt into unwanted tears. she continues to listen to the boy lying beside her, afraid to now touch her. he feels like he lost the right to a long time ago but his impulses are smothering.
"it reminds me every time that i'm not worth it." Taehyung gulps harshly. as Farah's eyes are closed, he takes this moment to look at her and his eyes graze over her features- experienced orbs of chestnut blinking. "i'm not worth your love, that's what i thought when i left you." he breathes out.
a part of Farah feels angry. what made him think that he wasn't worth her love? his mind? from the way Taehyung speaks and what he says, Farah can tell that he's still on a battlefield with his own mind and heart. he still believes the lies his mind has fed to him, like a prey to a predator but in this situation, they are both the same person.
"it's all in the past now. it's okay."
"wow." Taehyung laughs. "hearing that from you is shocking."
Farah's eyes open wide. Taehyung is still acting like he didn't hear her honest words that evening. he'll never admit it now. he's embarrassed and she's frustrated.
Farah draws a circle with her finger. she doesn't tell Taehyung's it's resemblance. instead, she speaks to herself through her occupied mind. she focuses on her finger tracing a perfect circle on top of the bed covers.
this is a circle, the female writer thinks as her finger moves.
it is known as a round utopia. it's a constant circle, she watches how it never ends. a circle is infinite.
the same thing happens over and over again, her ringed finger goes round and round. same position. same lines. one side is the good side, the good half and the other? it is the bad side, the bad half. it joins to make up the round, manipulative utopia that is her and Taehyung's love story.
Taehyung interrupts the circle drawing. the utopia is impossible. "let's go get matching tattoos yeah?" he sits up and waits for Farah to take his hand.
//
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