If I can't be with you

It doesn't look good

Sophies Point of View

Luckily Ross and I made up and finally we didn't have to hide our relationship any longer. So we lived it out. We showed everyone our love. It was so bad that we almost annoyed the others.

"Eeewww, get a room." was just one comment of Riker. And the others also weren't holding back their comments. But this luck wasn't meant to be forever.

"Hello? Is this Sophie Lancaster?" a female voice asked me on the telephone.

"Yes? Who is there?" I asked back.

"Hi Ms. Lancaster, this is Molly Collins. I'm calling you from the St. Lukes hospital. I am sorry, but your father was admitted today. It is because of his cancer. It doesn't look good and I think that you should come here." the voice said. I couldn't answer. I was so shocked. I couldn't think straight. Where were my brother and my sister. And what was with my dad. What happened? What was I supposed to do. While all these thoughts were running through my mind, I let my phone fall on the ground.

"Hello? Hello? Are you still there?" the voice asked. Ross picked up my phone and answered it.

"Hello? Sorry, this is her boyfriend. What happened?" I couldn't understand what the voice said. But soon Ross ended the call.

"Babe? Are you okay? This was the St. Lukes hospital. What did they want?" he asked me concerned. I looked up at him still not able to think clearly.

"She didn't tell you?" I whispered. He just shook his head.

"They called me because of my dad. He was admitted to the hospital today. And it really doesn't look good. They asked me to come." At the end the tears were streaming down my face. Speaking it out loud made this sink in. Ross took my in his arms and pulled me on his lap. He cooed me soothing things in my ear.

"Babe, it will be okay. We will book a flight and you will fly there. Everything will be fine." he said. I couldn't answer but I nodded my head.

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I was now for six and a half hours on my way. I already landed in Chicago and changed the plane. Now I was almost there and I was so nervous. I couldn't reach my siblings before I flew over here. But they were probably already in the hospital. I was biting on my nails, so nervous was I. Ross gently took my hand and lead it to his mouth to kiss it. I was glad he was coming with me. I didn't know if I could do it alone. He took care of everything. When we landed he just called a taxi and we drove straight to the hospital. When we arrived I went straight to the front desk.

"Sorry. I'm  Sophie Lancaster. Where can I find Robert Lancaster?" I asked the lady behind the desk. She looked in her computer and said.

"Room 302. It's the third floor. Over there is the elevator." She showed us the direction. We took the elevator and as soon as we left the elevator I heard someone calling my name.

"Sophie!" It was Lilly my sister. She came running up to me to embrace me in a big hug. "I am so glad that you're here" she cried.

"Lill, where is dad? What happened? Can you bring me to him?" I asked her.

"Yes, Micki is with him. Dad broke suddenly down. The doctors are saying that his cancer has spread." She pulled me along with her and soon we were at room 302. I was so nervous to go in. What would I see? But Lilly didn't let me wait. She opened the door and put a brave smile on her face.

"Dad! Look who is here." she said.  Dad was lying in a hospital bed and looked really bad. He became so thin and his skin was wrinkled. He never looked so old and tired. It was like you could almost see through his skin. He hadn't had any hair left. I tried to be as brave as my little sister.

"Hi daddy. What are you doing?" I asked him with a fake smile. He gave me a tired smile.

"Hey Baby. Come on over here and give your old dad a big hug." he insisted. I didn't wait long and closed the distance between us in seconds and hugged him. I didn't want to let him go. But soon I had to let go. Soon after that I was hugged by my little brother Michael.

"Hey Soph, good to see you. Dad's doctor want to speak with you as soon as you have time." he whipered into my ear. I just nodded. Ross was greeted by everyone and he was awesome. He acted completely naturaly around my father, never treated him like a sick man. I think my father aprreciated it. We chatted for a while before Ileft them to talk with the doctor. He invited me in his office and I sat down on a chair in front of his desk. I was cowed by this intimidating atmosphere.

"So Ms. Lancaster. I am really sorry to tell you that. But the cancer of your father has spread into his lungs and liver. The chemo therapy isn't working anymore and we also don't have any other options left. I am sorry, but your father is going to die soon." he said and looked at me seriously. I tried to hold it together, but hearing someone saying that your own father was going to die, wasn't the usual thing to cope with.

"What do you suggest what we should do now?" I asked him quietly.

"I think you should take him home with you. We can give him some pain medication. But at home it will be easier for him." I nodded and left his office. I couldn't go back to my fathers room.  Even crying wasn't possible at this time. I felt completly numb probably due to the shock. I walked around the hospital until I found a lonely place were I could sit and think. I couldn't lose him. I knew that, but it looked like I had to deal with this. So I had to bring him home and take care of him. And I couldn't show him how much this broke me.