If I can't be with you

I need to go

Sophies Point of View

I was back in LA, but I wasn't completely there again. I was always thinking about my future and where it lied. Ross tried to support me and help me with my grieve but I hesitated. I realized that I pushed him constantly away but I couldn't help myself. I didn't know if I still wanted to be in this relationship.

Everyone tried to comfort me and I was annoyed. I knew I wasn't fair but why did they even care. They would leave me as well, first one being Ross.

And there was the other problem. I had to take care of my siblings. Lilly still was underage and couldn't live by her own and Michael couldn't take care of her. He still was in college. Lilly was in her last year of highschool and I couldn't expect her to move to LA. I needed to go back. But I knew that Ross wouldn't agree with that. I had no idea how to tell him. And even thinking of leaving him made me cry. But I had to do it. I would leave. Ross and I were alone today and I decided that I needed to talk to him. I mean, I was soon leaving and he still didn't know.

"Ross? I need to talk to you." I said to him. He looked at me surprised and replied.

"Of course, Soph. You can tell me everything."

"Can you come with me outside?" I asked.

"Outside? Babe, it's raining. Why outside?"

"Please, just come with me outside." I said and walked out of the door. He followed me, still no clue what I was going to do. It was a rainy day and Ross and I were standing in front of our house. The rain was falling down on us and soon we were soaked. But I didn't care.

"Ross, it isn't easy for me to tell you that." I began. I could see his eyes grew bigger by the shock. "I am leaving in a few days."

"Where do you leave and when do you come back?" Ross asked me still not understanding what I said.

"I'm going back home. And I'm not coming back." I said seriously. At this moment it finally sank in.

"What? NO! You're not leaving. You belong here with me!" He yelled.

"I am sorry Ross, but I have to go. I have to take care of my sister." I cried.

"No, you don't. Stay with me. Please don't leave me!" He begged with tears in his eyes.

"I can't and you know that. My sister needs me now more than ever. And I can't hold you back waiting here for me. This is better for the both of us. I'm leaving because I love you." He got angry.

"No, you're leaving because you're scared. You are so afraid of falling and don't realize that I'm here to catch you. You are scared that you could lose yourself again in this relationship. You're running away, because you're scared of our love. But we are different from your past. Trust me that I'll never leave you. That I will take care of you. Bring your sister here and stay with me. You are the love of my life." He was saying all the right things and still I didn't change my mind. I knew that it was good that he got angry. Maybe this way it was easier for him to let me go.

"No Ross, you don't get it. Bit I'm leaving and you will not change it." I said trying to hurt him so that he would get even angrier.

"No, I don't believe you Sophie. Until you're telling me that you don't love me, I will always fight for you. You can't see it right now, because you're hurt that you lost your dad. But you are the right one. I can see us getting married and having children. I can see us when we're old sitting on a porch." he cried. He described everything what I imagined. And still I couldn't let myself fall. I knew there was a way to make him go away. But I hesitated to do it. I knew that I needed to lie but there would be no way back.

"Soph babe,please don't leave me. I love you and I will prove you that I'm the right for you. Please let me prove you that I'm the right one." Ross still begged. He wasn't going to leave me. So I did the worst thing I could do.

"Don't you get it Ross. I don't love you anymore. So I will go. You have to accept it." I said.

At this moment I broke his heart. I could almost hear it shatter. I was such a bad person. I deserved every pain I was feeling. He stumbled away shaking his head. He couldn't believe what he heard. As soon as he walked away I broke down on the floor. He believed me almost to easy I thought by myself.

Now I was alone again.

A/N

Don't hate Sophie. I know she hurt Ross but she is so broken that this was the only way she could handle this.

But she loves him.

This is almost the end of the story but there will be a sequel. Check it out.

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