Chapter 15: He Changed

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Dabi's POV
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In my arms, sleeping soundly with the rise and fall of his chest, I gather my thoughts. Shoto has been through a lot within the past few weeks, and the news is portraying his disappearance and that bastard of a father is out of the penitentiary. Shigaraki is cutting my visiting times with Shoto down to two hours a night for stopping him that day, and now my role in the League is beginning to thin the more I protect him.

I gently ran my fingers through Shoto's hair, enjoying the silky and soft touch. His back was supported by my arm, his head resting on my shoulder while sitting on my lap in his room. The light was off as I used a small scented candle to light the room and rid the awful smell of dew and blood. Cherries wafted through the air as I inhaled the nice fragrance, relaxing my back against the cracking concrete wall near my brother's bed.

During my visiting hours, I try to liven up his room since Shigaraki and the others entrusted me with training him, not bothering to open his door and allowing me to make his room more welcoming and gentle.

His bedsheets were replaced with fresh white bedding, the pillows restuffed and cleaned as I snatched a warm, fuzzy blue blanket from a house down the street. Blackout curtains now lined the outskirts of the spotless window with a few candles resting near his bed. It wasn't much, but I found my efforts paid well as Shoto began to smile more, showing me his pure energy despite all he's been through.

Though, something did change in him, and it's not like I didn't expect him to be the same, but he no longer cries when he's in pain. His flames have gradually faded to a light blue color at the base, and I've never been so proud, but it hurts his body; tainting his skin an irritated pink. The first time it happened, he cried, quenching his flamed as I quickly treated the burn.

After a day, he stopped crying whenever it happened.

A part of me knew his body was growing immune to the pain, but another was worried about his mental health. It was bad before he came here; before Shigaraki decided to take advantage of Endeavor's youngest son. He already had trouble showing his emotions properly, and now tears were stripped away from his already empty shell, making it a lot more worse for his wellbeing.

Bottling emotions can only last for so long until you break, and sometimes that break can happen at the most inconvenient time. Everyone has a limit, and Shoto just broke through his.

I've asked him a few times why he doesn't cry anymore, and he never knew why, either. His eyes were bloodshot and wide, small pupils that seemed to shake.

"I don't know anymore. Anytime it hurts, I can't cry. No matter how hard I try, I can't cry."

He didn't seem dejected by this strange phenomenon. Shoto had a smile on his face as he said those words, his eyes glossy but never shedding the emotions he's been bottling up for years.

I've talked with Shigaraki about Shoto's behavior, asking him what they mean despite my mind already knowing. I needed assurance; to know that my brother wasn't going insane or developing alexithymia. He informed me that in due time Shoto will break and accept his new role as part of the League, but I couldn't listen to him.

"Why don't you just let him be, Dabi?" Toga mused, spinning in her stool. "He's too far into the darkness to be saved. Just imagine how cool it'll be when he finally snaps! We'll have another powerful member of the Todoroki family on our side!"

I don't want him to be like us. He doesn't deserve being a villain when he has been trained his whole life to be a Hero. Shoto needs the love he deserves from his family and classmates, not insane children like the League.

Shoto stirred in my arms, groaning before opening his eyes a sliver, the candlelight casting a shadow over half his face as he smiled, "Toya."

I smiled, brushing loose strands of black hair from his eyes, "Hello, little bro. How do you feel?"

His smile grew, "I don't feel anything."

He's changing in an unsettling way. I hate seeing him smile while saying such unfortunate things. It's not from happiness because I know he's losing it, and I'm trying my fucking hardest to keep him sane.

My smile faltered into a frown, eyebrows furrowed, "Later today we'll begin practice, so get some more sleep if you can. I'll be out in the bar lounge so call me if you need anything." He nodded as I tried to help him to his feet, but he did it himself with ease as though nothing hurt on his body. The bandages around his eye were stained crimson in the center, but Shoto didn't seem to mind.

I stood and brushed off any dust from my tailcoat before wrapping my little brother in a tight embrace, his arms around my waist. He was much shorter than me, resulting in his face buried into my chest as we stayed silent, the quiet whir of the vent filtering through the silence.

"I love you, Shoto," I stated in a low, quiet voice while weaving my fingers through his hair. "Please don't lose it. I'll protect you."

He stayed silent, not stirring under my embrace, his breath warm and seeping through my shirt. I wanted to ask what was wrong, to know he was okay, but he didn't move a sliver.

I decided to make conversation before I left, to at least get a response from him, "There was a dream I once had. There were many figures with blurred faces, their facial features drowned by their white glowing bodies in the sheer darkness. Robes covered their bodies, dragging behind them as they slowly gathered in size. They knew my name; when I was born, my home life, favorite alcohol and All Might references. They knew about you, Shoto. They spoke with low echoing voices in my head to nothing in particular, stating all the facts about you and me. My dream ended as quick as it came, but their voices never left my ears."

I felt Shoto retract from my embrace, lifting his head to meet my turquoise gaze. He didn't have a smile; just a blank expression with dull eyes, "I've seen them, too. They're known as The Faceless, and they know everything."

Those were the last words he spoke before I was pushed out the door.

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