The Ereri Project!

Crash

Watching Levi leave for work that day felt so much weirder than normal.

It wasn't abnormal for us to be this quiet this early in the morning, it was abnormal that I wasn't getting up with him.

More than usual I wanted to pull him back into bed with me so we could lie together a little bit longer.

I had the blanket pull up over my head, only peeking out to watch him through a crack big enough for my eyes and nose.

My knees were tucked up against my chest and I just wanted him to hold me.

He looks over at me and I don't miss the worry in his eyes. "Are you sure you'll be alright if I go?" he asks.

I pull back the blanket just enough that he can see my face and I nod. It's going to be a long day, I can feel it.

He kisses me, more gently than usual and runs his fingers through my hair. "I'll be home for lunch," he tells him. "Make sure you call if you need anything. I'll send someone if I can't make it here myself."

"I'll be alright," I tell him.

He gives me a sideways glance but makes his way toward the door. "Make sure you eat something, okay?"

As soon as I hear the door close I pull the blanket back over my head and hug Levi's pillow.

Last night was the first time we tried BDSM type play together. I can still see marks from the ropes on my wrists so I'd be willing to bet there are more marks elsewhere.

Besides the slight ache in my hips and the skin on my ass still stinging a bit, I feel mostly okay physically.

Mentally though, I'm not quite back in the game.

An endorphin crash, is what Levi told me it was. He said some people like to call it "sub drop" but he doesn't because it isn't really exclusive to subs.

He told me it was just the body's reaction to that much of those types of stimulation, that after having such a high like that, my body wouldn't feel right in a normal state for a little while.

He said it was kind of hard to explain until I'd really been though it but he wanted me prepared anyway.

I'm glad he'd told me that much at least because I'm not sure what kind of a mess I'd be right now if he hadn't given me anything.

I'm hungry, but I don't want to get up. I kind of just want to stay in bed until Levi comes back.

He told me that the longest these feelings could possibly last is a couple days but he thinks I'll be out of it by tomorrow. Right now, it feels like this won't ever end.

It's almost eleven o'clock by the time I get up and get dressed. I blush at the look of myself naked in the mirror.

There are rope marks all over me, thought thankfully in places that are mostly easy to cover.

I'm just glad it's springtime and not yet summer so I'm not under pressure to wear t-shirts and shorts because my wrists and ankles got the worst of it.

I pull on my Green Lantern lounge pants and a hoodie before going to find something to eat.

I already knew it was raining by the noises against the bedroom window, but when I really see it through the door to the balcony it feels a lot different. I grab a muffin from the kitchen before deciding to go sit out on the balcony.

I plop down onto one of the two chairs there and pull my legs up while I eat my muffin.

I rub absently at the marks on one of my ankles while I watch the rain douse the city. It's heavy, but we've been expecting a decent storm recently.

I wonder absently if anyone below has bothered to look up and can see me out here. I wonder if they'd be able to see my marks if I pulled my sleeves up so my wrists were visible.

Would they call it abuse even though it was something I wanted and wasn't technically malicious in nature?

The idea that anyone would call what happened last night bad makes my stomach turn over.

When Levi comes home, he seems relived to find me out of bed. "Have you eaten yet?" he asks.

"I had a muffin," I reply.

"I brought home Wendy's for lunch if you're hungry," he says.

I get up, walking's still a little shaky but I make it to the kitchen without help. Levi smiles at me as I take out my chicken nuggets. "What?" I ask.

He kisses the top of my head on his way to the refrigerator. "I'm proud of you," he says. "The first time I subbed I didn't get out of bed at all the first day."

"I still feel gross, I just didn't want to lay down anymore," I reply.

"Still better than me," he says, taking a swig from a water bottle.

After we eat, he lets me cuddle with him on the couch until he goes back to work. We he leaves, I watch cartoons and lay on the couch for the rest of the day.

Levi doesn't even reprimand me over my poor diet when I call him to pick me up ice cream on his way home from work.

He's right, I am over it by the next day.