"Unrequited love is the infinite curse of a lonely heart."
― Christina Westover
Criminal Minds AU
Fate is the belief that something is destined to happen regardless of any intervention or obstacles. Nothing can change fate. It is an outcome written...
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By the start of week two Arden was starting to pick apart things she missed. Most of all she missed waking up to either Aaron cooking breakfast or kissing her. She never thought she'd miss his cute little hints that he wanted affection. Sean was different in the fact that he wanted space and a slow pace. He was like her, cautious. She could see the wheels turning in his mind and knew that he was utilizing all of his self control just to be able to take it slow. Arden applauded him. Not many men could show that level of self control, especially not when they had an attractive woman in their apartment But Aaron had known what he wanted whereas Sean was hesitating.
Arden and Sean rode down the busy New York traffic and towards the Statue of Liberty. He thought that since she had never been it would be a perfect opportunity to show her around. She felt like she could see the light when she was around Sean. They were so alike and she couldn't help but think about how perfect it was to match wits with someone at your level. It's a dream and what was the catch? He was handsome and a bit of a flirt, but then she realized three fundamental truths.
Number 1, he's only after me because he doesn't know me. If only he knew who I were. He would be running to the hills. He didn't know her past or what she had done in order to survive. That would always haunt him if he were to chose her. Nothing ever ended well when she was involved. The never ending curse of forever being alone. Sean did not know about the running or the fighting. Didn't know her issues. Aaron did. Despite their fighting and clashes he knew that at her very core who she was. Knew that it was fear that held her back. He had been patient and given her all the time she needed and wanted. Was this how she was going to repay him? By stabbing him in the back with his own brother?
Number 2, Arden would never be satisfied no matter what she did. She wanted to do more, be more. She was non-stop and being with Aaron would only keep them both down. Arden Carter saw herself as being more than just an Agent. She saw herself running the entire organization. Leading the bureau as the first female director came with it's own sacrifices. She couldn't do that to Aaron. He deserved better than her. Deserved someone who would be able to meet his needs.
Number 3, she knew Aaron more than Sean, but she felt more drawn to Sean as someone at her level. But at night it was Aaron's eyes she saw as she romanticized what might be, what could be, and what she had walked away from. Her heart ached as she thought about how Aaron was probably working a case with the team. Thought about his bossy attitude when he wanted someone and that Hotch stare of his. Aaron could stare down a serial killer and win.
Why did it feel like she was running out of time? She fought every day like she needed it to be alive. Sean understood that. Understood what it was like to be conflicted every day. Understood what it was like when it felt like it was you against the entire world. Sean was a motorcycle driving law student clad in leather who loved all the music that Arden did. He had dreams and still saw the beauty of the world. He was young and hopeful and pure and she did not want to be the one to change that. Arden knew what she was going to do. Now all that was left was to wait out the rest of the week.
