I Won't Let You Go

Chapter 15

"Agnetha baby! Please just tell us what's wrong!" Björn exclaimed.

"I don't want to talk about it, Björn!" Agnetha hissed. "And I don't need you guys here! I'm fine!"

"Mama, you tried to hurt yourself again!" Linda exclaimed.

"So?!"

"YOU WERE DOING IT AGAIN MAMA! I HATE TO SAY THIS BUT YOU NEED HELP!"

"LINDA, I SAID I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT! I'M OK! I WAS JUST IN A BAD MOOD! PLEASE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!" Agnetha as she angrily stormed off.

Linda, Christian, Jens, Tilda, Benny, and Björn watched Agnetha as she left. Neither of them knew whether to follow her or not, but they eventually did follow her after a moment. Tilda decided to take the lead. Tilda and Agnetha had always been very close with one another, which makes perfect sense considering that she is Agnetha's first grandchild.

Like Linda, Tilda knew Agnetha well due to their close bond. Even though she's only 18, she knew that Agnetha had always been depressed. Agnetha has battled depression all throughout Tilda's life and even a couple of years before that. At the time of Tilda's birth, Agnetha was in a bad place having just filed a restraining order against Gert and still mourning the loss of her beloved parents as well as the loss of her marriage with Björn.

And then there was Tomas. Agnetha thought that she can finally get over her heartbreak by falling in love with Tomas and eventually marrying him but Tomas turned out to be somebody that he was not. During the eight months between Agnetha meeting him for the first time and marrying him, she thought that Tomas was just like Björn: kind, warm, tender, and caring.

However as soon as Agnetha married Tomas, Tomas soon revealed his true colors. He intuitively knew that Agnetha still had feelings for Björn so he tried erasing all of her memories of him by destroying all of her belongings that were given to her by Björn or at least reminded her of Björn. He had also banned Agnetha from seeing Björn, Linda, and Christian and even Benny and Frida to some extent. Not to mention that he constantly hit her and often spoke down to her.

It wrecked Agnetha's confidence right there and then. Agnetha's confidence had been wrecked multiple times at this point, but Tomas may well have been the final straw. It took Agnetha several months to gather up the courage to file for divorce, but she did and she soon felt free again. Until her Mama died. Agnetha vividly remembers that day very well. She had been relaxing at home in Ekerö when she got the phone call. Her mother had taken her own life and Agnetha was absolutely devastated. And then her Papa died a year later and then Gert not too long afterwards.

There were so many other things that caused Agnetha's depression and this wasn't the first time Agnetha has felt suicidal. As Agnetha sat on the porch sitting on one of the chairs, she sat there very quiet and to herself and cried silently as she remembered those moments. Mama, Papa. I miss you both so much! I just can't take it anymore! I just can't!, she thought as she continued to cry silently.

"Mormor! There you are!" Tilda exclaimed as she opened the back door and saw her equally tearful grandmother sitting alone.

Agnetha immediately took notice of her eldest granddaughter and looked away. Tilda came closer to her and sat right next to her. Agnetha immediately took Tilda in her arms and the two sat there for a moment silently crying as they both tried to gather up the courage to speak up.

"I'm so sorry sweetheart! I'm sorry I've put you through this! You and your sisters have had to watch me at my worst your entire lives! You girls don't deserve it! Especially not you! I love you!" Agnetha exclaimed as she hugged her granddaughter tighter after gathering up the courage to talk again.

"Mormor?" Tilda asked as he looked up at her grandmother. "Can we talk about it?"

"Sweetheart, first off, it was never you. Or your sisters. Not even your uncle and your Mama. It's just a very complicated story that I think you are still a little young to understand even though you are 18," Agnetha said firmly as she reassured her granddaughter.

"Was it Morfar?"

"A part of it yes."

"I know you and Morfar still love each other. That's a fact. I've seen pictures and video clips of you two during the ABBA years and in the years since. Including today and the past couple of weeks. I've seen the way Morfar treats you compared to how he treats Lena. I mean yeah he's always been respectful and very civil towards Lena, but he never showed her the exact same amount of love he has for you."

"Yes, that's absolutely true. Positive. And believe me, Tilda, I love him just as much. I would've done anything to get him back to me after I left. He wasn't the only reason why I've always been so depressed, there were other reasons that I would rather not get into and share with my granddaughter but please know that I've always loved you and Morfar. And your Mama and your uncle of course. As well as your sisters."

"And your fans?"

"Them too. Sometimes it gets a little bit too much. But yes, I love my fans as well."

"You're so loved, Mormor. I wish you knew that. I know you love all of us but I wish you had that same amount of love for yourself. And I wish you understood the amount of love we all have for you. And I've seen those videos."

"What videos?"

"The ones your fans sent to you for your birthday. They're the same age as Esther and I. And there are older fans as well. I've seen the messages on social media as well. And as for us here, I don't think any of us would be able to function without you. Mama and Morfar especially, including myself and Christian."

"I love you sweetheart! Always know that! I know I'm obviously not the most perfect Mormor out there but I've always loved you and everyone else just as much as you all love me!" Agnetha exclaimed as she hugged Tilda again. "Come, let's get inside. Everybody's probably worried sick about me."

Agnetha and Tilda went back inside the house. Tilda entered the house first, followed by Agnetha. Linda and Christian were quick to notice that their mother was feeling better, along with Björn. Tilda's magic had worked on her Mormor.

"Feeling better Mama?" Christian asked without hesitation.

"Absolutely positive," Agnetha replied.

"I'm happy Anna," Björn said.

"Look, I'm really sorry for everything," Agnetha sighed. "I should never have put you all through hell because of my emotional baggage! I should never have let this affect the grandchildren especially. They are innocent children."

"Anna, baby. You couldn't help it. And what matters is that we are always here for you. Never forget that. We love you, Anna," Björn said as he kissed Agnetha on the lips.

"I love you too, Björn."

Björn held Agnetha tightly as Esther and Signe walked into the room, followed by Isabelle and Nike. Isabelle couldn't resist but take a picture of the sweet moment between Agnetha and Björn. Once Isabelle was finished, Benny sat by Agnetha and Björn along with Tilda.

"We're here, Agnetha. We're always here. We'll always have your back. Never forget that," Benny said reassuringly as Agnetha nodded in response.

Agnetha was feeling better and was starting to gather her strength again. She was totally overwhelmed by the love and support shown to her by her family and close friends. She couldn't be any prouder.