I am no monster (Vampire Knight x Reader) *UNDER EDIT*

Chapter 19: It comes in flashes

*(Y/N)'s P.O.V*

I could see a blur, an outline of a person. Their long hair was silver, i could barely make out gray/purple eyes staring back at me, who was this person...why did they look at me with such love? What is this? Where am i? Who is this person? Why can't i remember anything? Who made me forget? Who did this to me? Why do i have so many questions? Why do i feel like it'll be long before i get the answers?

The silver haired person reached out to me, long slender fingers inching towards my face "do not be afraid" the voice...for some reason it was comforting yet i couldn't make out whether this person was a female or male. It was like it sounded so distant...so distorted "do you remember me? I'm you krsssshhh" as the person tried to expain who they were a static kind of noise sounded in my ears. My head ached as they kept on trying to introduce themself "wake up (Y/N)...you need to wake up" wake up? I don't understand? "(Y/N)...WAKE UP!"

My eyes snapped open and i sat up abruptly gasping for air, i felt gentle hands on my shoulder which pushed me back down onto the bed. Turning to look at the person i saw the man who introduced himself yesterday as Takuma "are you okay?" he asked worry evident in his green orbs "i-i'm fine" i panted quietly "Lord Kaname asked me to wake you, we don't want you to miss breakfast" he chuckled "breakfast?" i mumbled to myself "yeah, so there are some of your old clothes in the closet, they should still fit so help yourself" i nodded as he left the room.

Walking over to the large white closet with gold decorations marking it i pulled it open surprised as i saw a vibrant mix of colours from all my different clothes. Picking out a random clothing choice (At the side) i threw it on brushing through my hair and spraying on what appeared to be perfume, the smell was rather familiar but i couldn't quite put my finger on it. Walking down the stairs and to the 'dining room' i peaked in from behind the door but kind brown/red eyes met mine "(Y/N), there's no need to stand there, come in" Kaname ushered. Stepping inside i shifted uncomfortably under everyone's gaze "you're wearing your old perfume" Zero whispered but i heard him "I found it on my dressing table so i thought i might as well put it on" i explained.

Seating myself between Yuki and Rima, the room was delved into a silence not quite an awkward one since the comfort of not having to eat alone was rather nice. I stuffed some egg into my mouth, since i 'woke up' in the head of the hunter's assoication's care i never ate anything other then blood really so the strange taste caught my by surprise.

Swallowing quickly i noted a cup of slightly watery red substance sitting by the plate, picking it up and took a small sip turning my head quickly where no one would get sprayed i spit it out. Wiping my mouth with the back of my hand i stared at the red liquid in disgust "what vile liquid is this?" i asked setting back down on the table. The others laughed "it's a substitute for blood, so we don't have to feed on humans. Though it doesn't taste very nice it keeps our hunger at bay, well most of us" Kaname spared  glance to Zero who looked away seemingly in shame. Yuki politely set a glass of water in front of me with a kind smile, thanking her i took a gulp to wash out the blood substitute.

After breakfast was over i decided to step outside and i was surprised to see all the dead bodies and blood had been cleared up. Parts of the building that had smashed had been filled in and all the debris swept away, breathing in the smell of wet grass as whoever cleaned up had to use water and more to wash off the blood. Sparing a glance to the nightclass dorms i dashed off into the woods so i could have some space to recollect myself, as i continued running i noticed pond in the distance and something pulled me to it.

I stopped at the edge of the pond looking down into the water at my own reflection, my eyes furrowed in confusion as something hit me...i shared something here with someone...blood? Maybe but maybe not...a...kiss. I kissed someone here...but who? Looking towards my right i noticed a fallen tree, the trunk appeared to have snapped but what took me by surprise is what seemed to be fist marks? I balled my hands in a fist and gently fit my hands into the mark. A perfect fit. 'I punched down a tree?; i wondered to myself 'but why?'. Stumbling away fromt the tree i sat before the pond once again, my reflection stared back and me and for a moment i swear i saw someone else their hair silver and eyes grey. It was the person from my dream! But the flash was only brief not even half a second, so i couldn't catch the details.

Now glaring at my reflection i splashed it and stood up decided it would be best to head back to the nightclass now they probably thought i ran away or something. It made me think back to when the head died, how she asked me to kill them but somehow the thought of killing these people brought a bitter taste to my mouth.

I know what i said about killing them after i find out about my memories but for some reason...i feel like i won't be able too. But that doesn't matter for now! All that matters is findind out about who i am...whether it comes in flashes or not.