I am no monster (Vampire Knight x Reader) *UNDER EDIT*

Chapter 20: A name

*(Y/N)'s P.O.V*

Just as i suspected everyone was clearly worried when i returned though it was flattering i was slightly uncomfortable since they were still strangers to me. I was currently sitting with Kaien on the couch the others gone to hunt what they called level E's, i leaned back on the cushion with a sigh "you still don't remember anything?" he asked, i shook my head no "i'm sure it will come to you" he encouraged. I looked down to my lap and fiddled with my thumbs "i faintly remember a face" i whispered but it caught his attention "can you describe it?" he asked "it was so blurry so i couldn't see any details but their hair was long and silver, eyes were grey almost purple. Their fingers were long and slender, the person spoke to me with such familiarity and looked at me with such love even though i couldn't see them well, they must've meant a lot to me right?" i asked him.

Kaien seemed somewhat shocked at what i had said "do you know who it is?" i asked hopeful "i do, or at least i'm pretty sure i do but i could be wrong" he sighed setting down his tea on the table. I turned to him "well?" i asked "i think you should remember on you own" he commented "but what if i never remember?"  "you will, i know you will it will just take some time. These things are better remembered in their on time" he advised. I simply nodded knowing there wasn't much point in arguing with him "hey Mr. Cross?" i spoke through the silence "please call me Kaien" he chuckled "uh right, Kaien don't you have a wife?" i asked gently stroking the side of my tea cup looking down into the bronze liquid.

Kaien shook his head "never had one, my line of work was far too dangerous, and just when i retired i had be called back to be the new head" he sighed "well if it means anything, i think you'd make a good head" i smiled finishing my tea and bowing as i left unaware of his eyes trained on my retreating figure.

I made my way to my room, shutting the door behind me and sitting down at my dressing table, humming a soft tune (at the side dearies) as i brushed through my slightly messy hair. I rested the hairbrush back on the table and stared at my reflection cocking my head to the side i furrowed my brows as my mind started churning and all of the sudden and name popped into my head "Shizuka Hio" the only thing that popped into my head was that name. I stood abruptly knocking over my chair and dashed for the door, now i was certain the others were back as i heard their voices.

I stopped near the bottom of the stairs and leaned over the railing "SHIZUKA HIO!" i yelled over their voices, they turned to me shocked "who...is Shizuka Hio?" i asked. They sent each other glances before Kaname sighed and stepped forward "Shizuka Hio was a pureblood vampire, she was the one that turned Zero, she died a couple months ago" he informed. I shook my head in disbelief "no, no, no, no she might of been the only one willing to give me answers!" i yelled at myself.

The others also stepped forward "(Y/N-" "NO! Just...just stay away from me" i ordered "stay away" with that i ran up the stairs into my bedroom and slammed the door shut behind me, locking it in the process. I growled balling my hands into fists weakly punching the ground, soon the punches becamse harder and faster (HA! Innuendo's) and the skin on my knuckles begun to break so they were leaking blood. Their was a knocking on my door and muffled voices tried to communicate "(Y/N), we smell blood what are you doing?" they asked frantic, i ignored them finally slowing down to a stop and staring at the damage i did to my hands. Blood coated the back and the floor where a hole i had made was.

Sucking in a deeo breath i walked towards the bathroom connected to my room and ran my hand under the water watching the blood wash away down the drain. Panting i wiped the back of my wet hand over my forehead as my chest began to tighten and my breathing came out short and fast, the pounding on my door became harder as my heart rate increased.

Beads of sweat dropped from my forehead into the sink and i gulped panting harder, i stumbled back from the sink the water still running quickly. My vision started to go black at the edges and solid shaped became blurrs, as i began to fall back i heard the splintering of wood and then a loud bang, multiple footsteps rushed towards me and i fell into sweet unconsciousness.

A name. No face to that name as of yet. I will find out. I have too. Shizuka Hio, whoever you are...just who are you to me?