Red Kingdom Diaries

Chapter 11: Telling him

It was another 5 days before I was in the state of mind to just get everything over with and Tell Diamonds the truth. 

Within these 5 days we all got our new nicknames: The King of Diamonds, The Queen of Hearts, the Ace of Spades and the Jack of Clubs. At first, we were missing the King of Diamonds, but I figured we should just choose the next person that we all get along with and trust. My crush had nothing to do with my decision. I chose diamonds purely because of our group dynamic. 

I woke up that Wednesday remembering that It had been a week since I completed my mission. I was getting tired of hearing my heart racing every second. I needed to make it go away. 

I called Spades to see if she wanted to go get coffee. We used to get Iced coffee from Dunkin donuts, but because we both were in college we barely had time anymore. 

Spades agreed to go and we met each other there. When I arrived coincidentally she was in the back finding a parking space. I waited for her to find one and then we both walked inside together. I ordered a caramel craze Iced coffee and she ordered coconut caramel Iced coffee. The employees messed up our order and had to redo everything. 

We then went to a local flower shop to check out what it was like. Spades wanted to get her mother flowers for Mother's day, but she wanted to check out the shop first. The inside of the shop smelled like wet dog and all of the flowers were wilting away. We walked right out and headed back to the Dunkin Donuts parking lot. 

We decided to go to the library. Spades really wanted to finish another puzzle and I needed a quiet place in case Diamonds decided to call instead of text back. Once we reached to the teen section of the library I asked Spades if she really wanted to get Clubs involved in this drama.

 Her response was," Yes! Girl you need a support system." 

"A support system?" I questioned. I know what she meant, but it really wasn't a big deal. I had thought about what I was doing and It was for the best that I told Diamonds the truth. I could get over him quicker and things don't have to change. I wouldn't even be sad this time.

We called Clubs and were told immediately to go to the stairwell because apparently it's against the rules to take calls in the library. It's not actually, I think it was just that one lady. I said," Hey, remember when we were walking from the library to Spades' house and I said that I didn't have feelings for Diamonds, I lied".

He replied with," I kinda figured". I was so offended and confused. Did he know all along and just hide it from me? Am I that obvious? I had lied to him and felt offended that he figured it out. 

Spades took the phone from me and changed the subject. After that they said goodbye and she hung up. I took two steps out of the stairwell before I sent the message. Why drag this out longer than I have to? I wasn't hoping for him to confess anything, I wanted him to reject me so that my deranged mind can take a hint.

The message I sent:

I know this is a  suicide mission, but fuck it, I like you. I don't expect you to feel the same way.

I texted the group saying that I 'unleashed the kracken'. Clubs was surprised, but we'd explain this to him another day. 

I waited an hour and there was no response. As I waited I helped spades with the new puzzle. Part of me was scared because he signed up for the Army and can be deployed at any time. That's not what happened this time though. Five hours pass before he responds.

The message Diamonds sent:

Okay, First off Thank you i'm flattered, but I don't feel the same way you do. I'm sorry. You should hold your feelings for someone better than me, I ain't that great. Plus, I'm a couple of states away so I don't think it would work out. On top of all of that, we barely know each other . Again thank you, but save your feelings for someone who deserves them. Still friends? 

(I appreciate the thought that he put into the text, but It made it a little harder to get over him. )

Everything went according to plan. I didn't know exactly how to say, It's not that big of a deal without sounding bitchy so I just said,"Ok. I gotta finish this puzzle or Spades will get mad".

He was confused until I explained that we were at the library. I immediately felt a rush of bliss because I didn't irreversibly change things. It was also reassuring to know that I didn't wimp out on this. I told Diamonds that I liked him and Even though I got rejected, I still had the guts to do it.

What happened next, didn't make our day any better. Spades told her mom about her relationship. Her mom advised her to wait until the summer so that she could focus on her studies. 

Of course I had to tell Diamonds about this crisis and see if there was anything we could do. I'd never do or say anything disrespectful to Spades or her mother. I had to find a way to save my mission without being rude. Spades said that there was nothing that I could do but I was determined to prove her wrong.       

Author's note: Infatuation's a hell of a drug