The insider//BellamyBlake fanfic

Half-formed regrets.

A few days had passed since they had captured Lincoln and Venus had still been unable to get a chance to see her friend without a chaperone. Bellamy had refused to let Venus in alone out of fear that something might happen to her. Although she appreciated his desire to protect her, she knew that Lincoln would never do anything to harm her. She had been helping the 100 prepare for winter and fix the damage that the storm had caused. At first she wasn't much use, due to her injured leg, but it quickly healed. Venus had been unable to get any notes or messages to Anya due to Lincoln's new prisoner status however she was secretly glad about it, she hated betraying Bellamy and the rest of the delinquents.

She had offered to collect some berries for the group, seeing as though she was the only one who could successfully identify the poisonous ones from the edible ones. Venus had just made her way back into the camp with a large tub full. She deposited the berries on the rationing table  and looked up to find Bellamy making his way towards her, sporting a bag which seemed rather full.

"Hey, can we talk?" He asked nervously as he approached the younger girl.

"Sure." Bellamy looked around anxiously before pulling Venus off to one side so that their conversation wouldn't be audible. "You're being awfully mysterious, what's up?" She questioned.

"Clarke and I are heading out to a supplies depot to see if there's anything useful there. We'll be gone all day." He informed her. Venus felt a sudden pang of envy towards Clarke at the idea of her getting to spend a whole day alone with Bellamy. She quickly suppressed it at the realisation that they were just friends. Well, technically they were enemies.

"Oh, okay. Do you want me to keep an eye on the camp or something?" She asked, the confusion evident in her voice.

"No it's just...the ark are going to be coming down in a few days," Bellamy began. Venus' face dropped; she didn't need reminding. It was all that had been playing on her mind since they fixed radio. She needed to make peace before it was too late. "And we cant be here when they do. You said it yourself, when they come down we're dead." He spoke slowly as if he was hinting at something but Venus was not picking up on it.

"Bellamy, I'm not following. What are you trying to say?" She furrowed her brows in thought as she tried to deduct his statements.

"I'm going with Clarke to see if there's anything useful in that bunker and then I'm going to run. I think you should come with me." Venus just stood with her mouth agape, unsure how to respond. She couldn't leave, she still needed to save Lincoln and negotiate peace. Plus, she would miss Stellan and her father too much.

"We'd never make it on our own, Bellamy." Disappointment flooded his face and he nodded regretfully.

"I don't know that, but I know I sure as hell won't make it if I stick around here." He had a point, even if, by some miracle, they didn't go to war Bellamys people would still kill him.

"I can't, I'm sorry." She said softly. That was the only thing she could think to say through the looming despair that began to set in when she realised that she might never see Bellamy again.

"I understand." He said solemnly as he began to walk away from her. Before he got very far, Venus grabbed his wrist and pulled him back towards her. She snaked her arms around his neck and pulled him into a tight embrace. He was startled by the action at first but quickly hugged her back. She placed a gentle kiss on his cheek and squeezed her eyes tightly to hold back the tears. "I'll miss you, cutie." He whispered softly. For the first time since they'd met, that word actually made Venus smile.

She pulled away and gave him a half hearted smile. "You too." She said in response as she watched him walk over to Clarke. The nausea swirled unrestrained in her empty stomach and her head swam with half-formed regrets as she looked at Bellamy Blake for the what was most likely, the last time. It was at that moment that she realised the depth of her feelings towards him. Weather they were platonic or not, they were most certainly there but she couldn't let that stop her. She had work to do.