Temporarily Permanent

Chapter 16

"Derek? Do you want to say something?"

The soft voice said from next to him. It had become familiar over the past few weeks. 22 days to be exact. Derek had counted each of the sunrises and sunsets. He stayed in his room the entire time. Many members of the pack had come to check on him. He'd never said anything just let out quiet sobs every time Stiles' name was mentioned. The person who came to see him every day after the first four was Melissa. She never says Stiles' name. He liked that she didn't speak of him.

She always told him about other things like how the pack was doing while not mentioning Stiles, directly or indirectly. Twelve days after Stiles... died, Liam had his daughter. It went much better than Stiles'. Liam felt guilty that his birth was so easy compared to Stiles' not that Melissa told Derek that. Adeline Roya Dunbar-Raeken was born. She had Liam's bright blue eyes and you could tell from her adorable nose that she was definitely Theo's daughter too.

Melissa didn't talk about her though because she thought it might have upset Derek. She tried only three times to get Derek to even look at his kids but he wouldn't. He'd just sob and she knew that they reminded him too much of Stiles. But she'd have to have a very angry talk with him if he didn't start acting like a father at least after Stiles' funeral. Which he was currently at.

"I... uh..." Derek hesitated knowing he'd just start crying if he talked about Stiles with everyone around. The funeral was small just the pack and the adults of the pack.

"You don't have to hun," Melissa said reassuring the man. He looked at the photo of Stiles that sat beside the hole in the ground where Stiles coffin was. There were flowers all around the gravestone.

In Memory Of
Mieczyslaw Stilinski
1995 - 2013

A son, a friend, a brother, a father.

"There isn't enough time in the day to explain how much you meant to me, Stiles. How much you meant to all of us." Derek took a deep breath not tearing his eyes away from the photo that was beside the grave. "I love you. We all love you. I know you'd want us to move on and..." He paused wiping his eyes before looking back up at the grave. "It's really hard though. You were such a big part of all our lives. You were my world and I-I..." He let out a small choked sob causing Melissa to rub his back in comforting circles. "I know I can't abandon our kids. You'd raise from the grave yourself to yell at me." He said smiling as a few chuckles from the others were let loose. "I need to step up and I promise I'll raise them to the best of my abilities and I'll make sure that they know everything about you. About how good your heart was, how much you cared about everyone, about how much you loved them even though you hadn't even met them. Goodbye Stiles. We'll all miss you." Derek said no longer caring about the tears that flowed freely down his cheeks.

"It'll be okay," Melissa said making him look over at her. No one had ever seen Derek this broken looking before. He'd never felt this broken either.

The woman gave him a hurt look herself. She then brought him into a hug which he returned quickly. The man was taller than her but he found a way to bury his head in her shoulder. Melissa didn't complain she just rubbed his back and whispered that it would be alright, that his kids would help him through it, that the pack would too.

-

Derek walked slowly down the pathway. He didn't know what he was doing. He didn't quite know what he was doing but he needed this. He felt like he needed this.

As he slowly stepped up to the gravestone reading the words carved into the rock he took a deep breath. Derek hadn't been here in a while. He felt guilty for not visiting sooner.

"Hey, Stiles." He said his voice breaking as he said the boy's name. "It's been a while. Sorry for not visiting it's just..." he trailed off feeling very guilty at the moment.

It had been so long that. Oh, god there wasn't a day that he didn't think about Stiles but he'd been distracted. That's no excuse. He was a terrible boyfriend.

"I should have visited you and I haven't and I'm so sorry." He said sobbing as he fell to the ground on his knees. His head went to his hands and he broke.

Derek hadn't cried this hard since he'd last visited Stiles' grave. And that was when the twins were 2. The two kids had visited the grave with others of the pack since then. Mostly the sheriff and sometimes Melissa. He should've been there every damn time but he wasn't.

"Dad?" He heard a voice from a few meters to his left and he turned.

Standing there was his two beautiful children. Their eyes looked both worried but then when they saw who's grave he was at they understood. As he wiped his tears they ran up to him. The two each took a side and they wrapped their arms around them.

"I'm sorry kids I just..." He didn't really know what to say. He hadn't known what to expect coming here. He thought he'd be in and out then back to them in the car and they'd go home but... that's not the case apparently.

"It's okay dad. We miss him too. We haven't seen him in a while either." Lucas said sitting down beside his dad Talia following his lead.

They sat there for a moment. Eventually, Talia lay her head in Derek's lap. Lucas pressed right up against Derek's other side. He had an arm around his son and one running a hand through his daughter's hair.

"We miss you, Stiles. It's been 14 years. The twins are so grown up. Talia is so much like you. Lucas is beautiful just like you were-"

"Are," Talia corrected him making Derek smile down at her.

"Just like you are." He said smiling at the gravestone with tears in his eyes. "They started highschool a month ago along with Adeline. I don't know if anyone told you but Liam had another. Apparently we were supposed to have two each. So a year after Adeline, Stiles James II was born. We all call him Liles though. Since he's very much like Theo in the way that he fabricates a lot of things. Theo always says it's karma for what he did to us." Derek says chuckling a bit as tears flowed free from his eyes.

"Daddy misses you, papa," Talia said making Derek bite his lip to fight the whimper that wants to leave his mouth.

"I never met you pop but I miss you," Lucas says his grip tightening in Derek's t-shirt.

"Everyone misses you. At Theo and Liam's wedding, we had a minute of silence for you. Of course, their baby at the time had to be taken outside by Melissa for crying. But it was nice." Derek said thinking back to that time. It'd only been around two years since Stiles' death at that time.

They sat there for a while longer. None of them spoke they just held each other for comfort. After about twenty minutes Derek sighed.

"Come on. Pack dinner tonight. Let's go." Derek said getting up along with the other two. They said goodbye before leaving the cemetery.

Talia was jumping for joy. She loved pack night and seeing all the other kids. not that she didn't see them pretty much every day. A lot of the pack had children now. It had been fourteen years.

Scott and Malia had a little boy, Julian. Lydia was with Parrish and they had a two kids a year apart, Kyle and Lorraine. Melissa and Chris had gotten married and very accidentally and unexpectedly had a little boy, Tyler. The sheriff and Lydia's mother got married, not pregnancy scares thank god. Mason and Corey had a little girl, Lila. Isaac had shown up recently with a five-year-old boy, Camden, on his hip saying his girlfriend had died from hunters. Nolan and Alec were still looking for significant others but were very happy with their friendship, they were best friends.

-

What Derek and his two lovely children hadn't noticed when they left was the witch. She'd hear about Stiles not long ago and wish she'd heard sooner.

The woman came upon the grave and put her hand on the dirt above the boy's body. She sighed saying she was sorry before heading on her way.

But there was a smile on her lips when out of the corner of her eye she saw a hand raise up from the dirt.

am I forgiven? please?