Cross Fire (Part II)

Chapter 9

Shawn

It's been a week since I saw Mila and I can't get those tearful eyes out of my mind. It broke my heart seeing her cry, but I couldn't stay there, I couldn't look at her knowing that he was with her. Did she have sex with him? Her dress was unzipped and her hair was a mess so it doesn't take much to figure it out. I'm just glad I didn't run into him on the way up or I would have beat the shit out of him. Instead, I beat the shit out of one of my guitars and the wall when I got home.

I've been spending my days going at parties and going to clubs. The days blended into nights and I wasn't sure what day it was anymore or when I slept for the last time. I was drunk or high almost all of the time.

Jesse, and Mila's parents tried calling me, but I never picked up. No doubt they wanted to know what was going on, but I didn't think I had it in me to explain. What could I say anyway? That it wasn't what it looked like? That she was a friend? That I think Mila cheated?

And that bastard, Logan. The way he was looking at her that day, I wanted to break his nose. I knew he was into her the moment I saw him. It shouldn't surprise me that men are into her though. I've seen how every man looks at her when she enters a room and I've noticed how my friends look at her when she wears those tight dresses. Girls too, I know they are envious. But there was something different about Logan. I didn't like the fact that they knew each other and that they sort of worked together. I know Mila, and I know that she is not the type of girl to go for a hot bod and one night stands, so it bothered me that she had the chance to get to know him. I was afraid that them working in the same field, something I could never talk to her about, would bring them closer.
I never felt insecure in her love for me, but lately she has been pulling away. Naturally, I started wondering if it was because she had met the prick. When we had that fight at her apartment she said she felt smothered and reminded every day of what had happened. That was not my intention, but I saw how she couldn't get over it and wanted to help. I should have known to do it smarter. She would never accept anything unless she thought it was her own idea. That's how stubborn she was.

I was at yet another crowded party, downing yet another glass of whiskey. Alcohol seemed to numb me, and when that didn't do the trick there was coke, molly, weed, whatever, I didn't discriminate. I had a girl next to me desperately trying to get my attention, and she was talking about her best friend or her dog, or whatever, and I wasn't interested. It didn't help that she had so much filler in her lips, that you could barely see her teeth, or that her perfume and cleavage were so loud and obnoxious. I was used to girls like this sticking to me, and when I was younger I loved it. I slept with countless of them, but after Mila, I was ruined. That would probably not stop me tonight though. This girl was going to get what she wanted, I just wish she stopped talking already.

"Wanna get out of here?" I interrupt her.

"Yeah", she says and smiles like this is what she has been waiting for.

"Come on" I say and I move through the crowd towards the door that leads to the back yard of this mansion.

When we are outside, I take the path that goes around the front thinking of getting us in my car and somewhere private. She has other plans as she grabs me and pulls me towards the side wall and in the dark. Well, this is good enough I guess, and I lift her dress up as she starts kissing me. I am not surprised to find that she has no underwear on as I start touching her between her legs. She moans as she opens my belt and unzips my pants, and by how swiftly she did this, I figure she's done it a lot. I roll the top of her dress down to her waist and squeeze her full breast as she starts saying she likes it like that. I take out a condom, roll it on and start fucking her against the wall. She tries to talk dirty, but all it does is turn me off, so I turn her around and bend her over. We are done some 15 minutes later and honestly, I don't care if she came or if it was good for her. She got what she wanted. I dress and head back to the party.

"Thanks, that was... fun." I turn and say to her.

"Likewise, sugar." she says and smiles.

I frown at the nickname and go back to the party. After I walk in, Nate finds me and throws an arm around me.

"Hey I've been looking for you everywhere." he says as he looks behind me to the girl walking in. He knows what's up.

"Look man, you can do this every day or you can go talk to her. Explain." he says looking me in the eyes.

"I tried to, remember? I almost ran into her new boyfriend." I say with so much spite.

"You don't know what happened, or if anything happened, just as she doesn't know that nothing happened that night.", he presses.

"What ever man. I don't want to talk about it." I say and try to move past him, but he stops me.

"You have to talk about it some time. Look at you. You are out of control, the booze, the drugs, the girls. What you and Mila had was epic. She actually made you better, like you were at the beginning of your career. Creative, eager, writing awesome new music... Why throw that away?"

"I am not throwing anything away! She did!" I am starting to get angry.

"Look, all I am saying is that you two need to talk. No need to get angry at me." he says and puts his arms up in surrender.

"Thanks for the advice. I'll consider it." I say sarcastically and go to take another drink.

Hours later the party is still in full swing and I am totally out of it. I must have done too much, because I feel nauseous and I can't see straight. Nate comes to my side, puts my arm around his shoulder and leads me towards the door. I think he says he'll take me home, but I am not sure. He puts me in his car and starts driving. The entire way, I'm resting my head back and keeping my eyes closed trying not to puke in his car. We get to my house and I can barely get out without falling over. Nate grabs me before I hit the pavement and gets me inside the house. There are too many stairs to my bedroom, so I just pull him to the living room and he drops me on the couch. He takes my shoes off and leaves a bottle of water and Advil, as well as a trash can next to me. He throws him self on the other side of the sofa and turns on the TV.

"I don't need a babysitter." I tell him.

"Shut up before I beat your ass.", he says and continues changing channels.

I am too sick and too tired to fight so I just close my eyes and pass out. That is my usual mode of operating these past few weeks.