Cross Fire (Part II)

Chapter 15

Shawn steps inside my apartment and I gesture him to the kitchen.

"I can wait for you to get cleaned up, if you want." he says.

I look down at my self and see that I have dirt all over my sneakers and ankles as well as a little on the hem of my leggings. I also feel sticky from the sweat and I must admit the idea seems appealing.

"I'll be right back." I say as I head for the bathroom.

I throw my dirty clothes in my hamper and suddenly feel feel very aware that I am naked with Shawn just a few steps away. I expel the thought immediately, and step under the hot water. I am showered and dressed in sweats in no more than 5 minutes, and I head back to the kitchen to face the car crash I feel is about to happen.

"Better?" he asks as soon as he sees me enter.

"Much."

"Look, I don't want to beat around the bush so I am just going to start."

"Ok", I say very surprised at his directness.

"I know we fought a lot lately, and it took me a while but I understand that you didn't want to deal with things the way I thought you should. But us not speaking, is not something I want. After everything we've been through I can't have it end like that."

"I don't want that either." I say and we are both quiet for a couple of seconds just looking at each other.

"I am sorry, it wasn't my intention to push you away. I also don't want you to think that I was hiding things from you. Maybe I should have told you earlier about what happened, but how was I supposed to bring it up? It never felt like the right time, and I definitely didn't want you to hear it from the tabloids. So it was just left up in the air. Nate also told me about... the woman I saw, being your lawyer. I am so sorry I jumped to conclusions. I should have had more faith in you." I explain.

"You should have. I would never cheat on you. As far as the story goes. What did April want?"

He changes the subject and I can't help but read between the lines. Does he think I was cheating on him?

"Wait. Do you think I would?" I ask.

"What? I didn't say that!" he defends.

"You didn't have to. I never cheated on you Shawn. I would never! Logan..."

"Don't say his name."

"That's rich! I know for a fact that you've had a different girl practically every night. So don't come at me with the wounded thing."

"Yes! Different girl! I didn't even remember their names, let alone how they looked. They meant nothing! I didn't have a full blown relationship with one. I did not replace you!" he rapid fires.

"What? Is that what you think? That I replaced you?" I ask wide eyed.

"What am I supposed to think Mila? You started dating the guy that you worked with. You knew each other. It's different. And don't try to deny it. He isn't a rebound for you, is he?"

"You... I... Yes, I knew him, but just recently. I never even spoke to him outside of work while we were together. Everything happened after. And even then, I still couldn't get you out of my head!"

I didn't mean to say that last part out loud, and I regret it. I see Shawn looking at me and I can't read him. What is he thinking? Ugh, I shouldn't have said it, even if it is true.

"What I'm trying to say is... I never replaced you. I mean... I never tried to replace you. I lo... I thought... FUCK!" I yell exasperated.

"I thought you didn't want to be with me anymore, that I had become too much. Too much drama, too much negativity, I don't fucking know. You ignored my texts and didn't come home. I made you angry all the time..."