Here's the thing about depression, It sucks!

𝖭𝗂𝗇𝖾𝗍𝖾𝖾𝗇~ what if?

Meredith's Pov

What if I ended it all today? What if I just slipped under the surface? I thought that to myself as I sat in my bathtub. Than I just slid under the water. I held myself there for a while. That was until Derek's figure appeared.

"Meredith?" He said. I didn't come up. "Meredith!" He yelled as he pulled me up. "What the hell are you doing?" He asked.

*****

"I wasn't trying to drown myself in the bathtub" I said as I zipped up my boot.

"Look your mother was-"

"She was Lucid and now she is gone" I said.

"She has her surgery today" he said.

"You don't need to be my night and shiny whatever" I said.

"Well I am your night and shiny whatever" he said as he leaned down to kiss me. He walked down to the kitchen.

"I did not try to drown myself in the tub this morining" I said to Izzie. She nodded and started rambling on about how she ate everything out of the fridge, and how she pretends Denny is still here.

*****

While I was putting my stuff into my locker, Cristina kept looking at me and shooting merely, creepy  smiles

"What?" I said with the smallest trace of attitude.

"N-Nothing" She said returning her gaze to the inside of her locker. Not long after she was staring at me again.

"What!" I screamed. Her eyes widened.

"Nothi-Nothing" She said closing her locker. "Nothing, Cranky pants" she added.

"Let's get a move on we are responding to a trauma scene" Bailey said.

"Really? What happened!" Cristina asked.

"Ferry boat crash" Bailey said.

"Thank god you didn't say that you were going to die today" she whispered to me.

"Yeah, thank god I didn't" I replied.

*****
Flashback.

When I removed my hand from the body with the bomb I handed it to Dylan. He walked out of the room slowly and steadily. I made a choice to follow him. I don't know why, but the minute I stepped into the hallway, the bomb exploded. The blast was so large, it threw me back into the ground.

The whole time I was falling I heard Cristina saying "you had to say you were gonna die today."

Addison's Pov

"George, How is the girl with the bomb?"  I asked. His face saddened. "That bad?" I asked again.

"Meredith, is fine for right now"  George said.

"Meredith!" I said. Moments later there was an explosion. Please be okay, please be okay! I said to myself over and over again.

"Everybody stay calm" Richard shouted. He walked over to me. "She is coming up, get her cleaned up so her friends don't have to see her like this" Richard asked me. I walked over to the elevator and waited for her to arrive.

I brought her into a shower and cleaned her up. I gently washed all the blood off of her, I sewed up her wounds, and got her dressed.

"Thank you Addie" she said. I leaned in and kissed her.

"I know what I said when you had your surgery but you needed this" I said. She nodded and kissed me once more before leaving.

Lyrics:

(I would hold you in my arms
I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you've done
Forgive all your mistakes
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To hear your voice again
Sometimes I wanna call you
But I know you won't be there
Ohh I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you)

Word count: 603